I enjoyed last week's discussion SO much! I hope you all did as well! I am so glad that you all had no reservations about sharing your thoughts on Proverbs 31:10! If you're new to the study, you can read through last week's study here. Here's the skinny: Far Above Rubies is a ladies' study where we take one verse per week and discuss how we can apply it to the way we are living our lives as Christians.
This week we are going to look at Proverbs 31:11.
I love how these verses hold so much in them, and how timeless they are, don't you? There are so many people who think that the Bible is outdated, but I seriously beg to differ. It seems to me that wives today are just like wives back then. I don't know how many of you know this, but I am a gigantic I Love Lucy fan. My kitchen begs to be decorated in Lucy decor, and I have seen every single episode there is, in fact, I own them all. Anyway, I don't mean to turn that into a discussion of Lucy. But if you've ever seen a show, every other one has to do with Lucy buying something and having to hide it because it cost waaaaay too much. Ricky always comes in ("Luuuucy, I'm hooo-ooome!"), and notices her odd behavior, and then asks how much it cost ("You've got some 'splainin to do...").
This verse to me says that this is not a trait of a virtuous wife. This verse says that the heart of her husband safely trusts in her and is never worried about her going out and spending his paycheck. She is financially trustworthy. He doesn't come home and wonder about how much money she's spent and whether or not they'll be able to pay the bills that month because she's gone out and bought a new wardrobe.
I guess the question we need to ask ourselves is this: does my husband trust me? Am I trustworthy when it comes to what I spend?
For me, I believe that I am. And I don't say this to boast. I feel physically ill when I go to spend anything, especially if I am paying full price. Is anyone else like that? I hope that my husband fully trusts in me. I don't ever want to give him a reason not to. I want to be that virtuous woman!
What are your thoughts on the matter? Last week we had a good number of posts on the subject! I was so excited to read everyone else's thoughts in the comments and on their own blogs! Thank you everyone for joining in! I am going to put a Linky up so you can all link your own blog posts. I can't wait for the discussion!
I think its not just about the financial peace of mind but just trusting her in general. He never has to worry that she is going to downgrade him to her friends, that she is going to complain about him to his mother, or that she will tell her best friend his innermost thoughts that he shares with her. His heart SAFELY trusts in her. He knows that she will never betray him, no matter what the issue may be.
ReplyDeleteI want to be the wife that will stand by my husband no matter what. If we disagree on where to spend the holidays, I will give in to his decision because I want him to know he can trust in me. If he is being openly criticized, I will stand up for him. That way he will know that no matter what, he can trust me.
As far as the part about gain, I can see that in a few different ways. Lack of gain is equal to lose right? So by know that he can trust her, there is no lose of trust. He doesn't feel as though he made a mistake in choosing her for his wife. And of course, there is no financial lose due to her lack of self control.
Sorry, this is a little unorganized and no verses but I have to leave for work and just wanted to comment really quickly!
It's a beautiful thought that her husband has complete confidence in her. A husband today wouldn't be worrying how much she spent while out shopping, or if the checks bounce. He'll have no lack of gain...Instead of being wasteful, she even helps his finances to grow. This applies to all areas, as well. He won't be concerned that she might say or do something that will bring shame. She will conduct herself in a chaste manner, and her speech will be seasoned with salt.
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Yes! I definitely know what you mean about paying full price for anything. Not fun in my book at all. I think it's important for all of us to be trustworthy in every aspect of our lives, as Molly said; and specifically in financial matters, as this verse suggests. I think many wives focus on building up their secular careers in order to help out financially, when really, often what is needed the most is someone to properly manage what their husband is bringing in already! I like your Lucy analogy, too. :)
ReplyDeleteI love this passage - so many lofty things about which to think! It seems to me that if we are "open books" for each other, we will have a great marriage. I trust that my husband will go to work each day: working hard, being dependable & honest, all while letting his light shine before the world. In the same way, I want my husband to trust that I will work hard each day, being dependable & honest while letting MY light shine .
ReplyDeleteFinancially speaking, a virtuous woman must try her very best to remember the words from 1 Timothy 6:6 which say "Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment". We need to be happy with all God has blessed us. It's really okay to not have the latest this or that, or to have this brand or that (please excuse my sarcasm). I strive to teach my daughters to "make do" and to make things from scratch . . . I think this will bless their future husbands as well.
Yes, let's give our husbands reason to safely trust in us!
I think so many people today underestimate just how important trust is in a relationship. In matters other than financial, I see engaged couples who flip out over a member of the opposite sex even speaking to their fiancé. Even though the other person may not be flirting or doing anything wrong, do you really think you are ready to be married? If you can't fully trust, because of your own issues or theirs, you have some work to do before making that commitment.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the trust is there, but the person is not deserving of that trust. I love how this verse says that he "safely" trusts in her. Like you said, Kristen, she isn't hiding anything from him. He gives her that trust and she is worthy of it. We need to make sure that we are worthy of that trust and we never do things to make our husbands question the trust they have for us.
I am really enjoying this study that you've started and these seemingly simple verses have really given me a lot to think about. What an excellent passage to study!
ReplyDeleteI'm not the most Bible educated person so commenting on these posts puts me a little out of my element, but I think I found something of interest. Well, at least it was interesting to me:)
I read the comments and so far there is a lot to think about regarding the first half of this verse, "The heart of her husband safetly trusts in her". I could probably think just about that portion all week.
I started to focus on the second half, "so he will have no lack of gain." What does that mean? I can understand the trusting portion but how does the ability to trust in a wife lead to gain? I looked up "gain" and found this definition: "the increase caused by an amplifier." What a wonderful thought! Having a husband who can safely trust in his wife allows us to serve as an amplifier to his life! I love the idea of being trustworthy to the point that he has such confidence in our relationship and my support that he can lead an amplified life - a life with no lack of gain.
I LOVE your point! That is such a neat concept that if we are so trustworthy we are actually making his life better! Love the word amplified, so cool!
ReplyDeleteGreat thoughts Jackie! Thank you so much for sharing! I love that definition you've provided!
ReplyDeleteWhen I think of trust, I always have to think of Sarai and her trust in her husband Abram. How trusting is it when your husband says, "I don't know where we're going, but we have to go. Pack up." - and you do it because you trust so completely in your husband?!
ReplyDeleteAnd that also ties in with the not having anything to hide - does my husband take my word for it? Or does he wonder whether or not I'm actually lying?
Love your thoughts, Micah!
I love 1 Timothy 6:6. Thank you so much for bringing that up. There are so many people who are just not happy with what they have, and I admit that sometimes I fall to that. But we need to realize that God is going to take care of us. And we need to be thankful and content with what we have.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your thoughts. I am really loving your point about both spouses going out and letting their lights shine.
There are people who think that they have to have both spouses working to be able to get by in life, but like you said, maybe they just need to manage what they do have better. There are so many people out there who live above their means. It's easy when you have that hot plastic card in your hand!
ReplyDeleteLindsey, I love your thoughts! Husbands shouldn't worry about those things... marriages should be all about trust - trust in God to provide, and trust in our spouse's integrity and honestly in their common sense - in all things!
ReplyDeleteYou're right - a husband's trust in his wife should never just be about trusting financially. He should be able to trust that she's not letting some other man in while he is away, or that she is bringing up the children like she should, or just all around conducting herself in a way that isn't going to bring shame to him as her husband, and especially not shame Christ.
ReplyDeleteAs preacher's wives I know we both know that our husbands need to be able to trust that we are going to stand beside him 110% of the time. Come what may.
Thank you for your thoughts Molly!! <3
Reading this verse right off made me think of my grandparents. They stayed with us for several days and advised us how to use our money-- and our time. Grandad read most of Prov. 31 to us, and after he read this verse, he said, "I'm thankful to have one of these." It was soooooo sweet! And it shows how important Gran is to his life. That is the kind of wife/ relationship that I want to have! Obviously, I am not married yet, but one day I hope to be the kind of helper that can be trusted. Another thought is that it's not only money, but time as well... Our time is worth so much, and how we use it is very important. It can also be "spent" or "wasted"... We must use both our money and time to the glory and praise of God!
ReplyDeleteThanks for another great blog, Kris! <3 <3
Hi, I just found yuor blog and really love it. You are so much more mature than I was when i was 21. I wish I had that kind of maturity. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Angie
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words, Angie!
ReplyDeleteGreat thoughts, Kara! You're so right. It is so easy to waste our time as well when we could be doing so much more! Thanks for coming in and commenting! I'm glad the comment system finally behaved for you to post!
ReplyDeleteTrust is something that is earned. As I was reading this I thought of how building this and verse 10 are. Being trust worthy is part of being morally excellent!
ReplyDeleteTrust is such a beautiful thing to have and to work toward. In all manner of life- money, family, spirituality, etc.
"No lack of gain" Gain in all these areas! We can help our husbands (and fathers) by being frugal, by being discrete, and by growing spiritually too.
Thanks for your thoughts! I like your Lucy illustration! This study is really making me think. :)
This easily fits in with last weeks verse.
ReplyDeleteA virtuous woman is worth far more than rubies. If a woman is morally excellent, she must be trustworthy; it's part of virtue's package! Her husband would then have no problem putting his trust in her. This trusting relationship will add so much value to his (and her) life... a value far greater than rubies.
I look at this verse and I think back to the verse that teaches us to leave our father and mother and become one. If you live this and are truely one on most of your choices then the trust will remain throughout. Mark and I have been married for 6 years and we know each other so well that we complete thoughts or know what each others wants and unwants. I think that trust is a big factor in a marriage and needs to always be there. Turst is a hard thing for most of us to do because we have been hurt in the past but with your husband you shouldnt have any doubts. I know wives who check their husbands emails and text messages and I think when I hear this why. I trust Mark with all my heart and I dont have to go behind his back and check anything. As a team with the trust and love we have we help each other gain.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are doing this because having the wonderful maker we have made us all think different and we can all take the verse differently and apply it in all kinds of ways.
I love how all the verses fit and build together. You're right - this is just one component of being morally excellent!
ReplyDeleteYou're right - gain in all areas fits in this very, very well. Thanks for your thoughts!
ReplyDeleteThere are a TON of couples who very obviously don't trust each other. Like checking emails and texts and stuff. That is not right! There should be no reason for us to feel like we need to go in and go behind our spouse's backs!
ReplyDeleteI love this verse and discussion :) My husband trusts me implicitly with our son, our money and my activities day in and day out because of my strong beliefs of my role as a mother and a wife! He knows how strongly I believe in His word and that I will not do anything intentionally (hmmm, excluding the way that I fight. . .I am studying this separately right now!) that would hurt our marriage or that would bring any pain or suffering to our son. We may differ on the beliefs of the role of the woman in the household right now, but this verse illustrates the one thread that has been instrumental in keeping our marriage together. Now to build on it!
ReplyDeleteSorry I'm so late in joining in. I've been so busy lately...
ReplyDeleteI am just like you- I feel sick when I spend money, especially if I have to pay full price or if I go over our budget. I believe that trust is so important in the husband/wife relationship (as well as every other relationship). It is so rewarding for your hubby to trust you and we can bless him so much if we are good stewards!
I know I'm a week late, but here is my post: http://beingwhatiwanttobe.blogspot.com/2010/05/proverbs-3111.html
ReplyDelete"The heart of the husband doth safely trust in her". The word trust here is used when talking about trust in GOD as well. I keep thinking about the emotional side of our husbands. Wives share with their husbands, mothers, sisters, friends... Typically men do not share their heart as easily. If they share at all it is with their wives.
ReplyDeleteDo we provide a safe place for our husbands hearts? Can he come to you with a failure, a worry, a sadness and find comfort, understanding, love? Can he safely trust in you to keep his heart?
I hadn't thought about that! Thanks, Mrs. Pam! I always love your thoughts and comments. <3
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