Benjamin at Five Years Old.

Here’s a fun little thing that I did with Benjamin the past two years. I wanted to do this again because it’s really neat to look back and see how his answers have changed. Plus, he’s hilarious. So here’s a quick little survey, with Benjamin’s answers in Bold.

1. What is your favorite color? Red.
2. What is your favorite toy? Uh, my lego watch. {Which he got for his birthday}
3. What is your favorite fruit? Apples?
4. What is your favorite TV show? Jonah {VeggieTales}
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Peanut Butter Sandwich!
6. What is your favorite outfit? My Georgia outfit! {which he also got for his birthday}
7. What is your favorite game? Raymond Legends
8. What is your favorite snack? Moon Pies
9. What is your favorite animal? A whale
10. What is your favorite song? Jesus Loves Me
11. What is your favorite book? My whale book, I mean my library book.
12. Who is your best friend? Dylan {okay this was cute}
13. What is your favorite cereal? Honey Comb cereal
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Play Pokemon
15. What is your favorite drink? Capri Sun
16. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Well, right now I’m going to take my watch.
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Honey comb ceral
19. What is your favorite thing for dinner? Spaghetti
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? A lot of different stuff that grown-ups can be.
21. What is your favorite movie? You already know… {he says, exasperated} Jonah. VeggieTale Jonah.
22. Who is your favorite superhero? Batman & Robin
23. Where is your favorite place to go? Lanett
24. What is your favorite Bible story? Jonah in the fish
25. What is your favorite Old Testament story? How ‘bout Genesis? And my New Testament one is Matthew.
26. What is your favorite memory verse? “In the beginning, God made the heavens and the earth.” “That’s in Genesis 1:1”
27. What is your favorite letter? “The robot one.” {Yeah, I don’t know, either.}

If you’d like to read his previous years:

Benjamin at Three Years Old
Benjamin at Four Years Old

facing ptsd, a year later.

***Because I have friends who have had difficult experiences or who may have slightly elevated hormones, I’m going to go ahead and say that this post can be a BIG TRIGGER as I talk about my PTSD and events surrounding it.***

It has been a little over a year now since I have been dealing with my PTSD resulting from Benjamin’s birth almost five years ago. I wanted to tell you all that I am so thankful for every prayer that you may have offered up on my behalf, or on the behalf of my family as they help me through this. I was thinking yesterday how I couldn’t believe how soon Benjamin would be five and how five years ago, I would have never, ever thought I’d be facing the challenges that I still face on a daily basis because of what happened.

Five years ago today, I was still pregnant, still counting on my baby boy to arrive in a mere five days {which did not happen… he was late then and still to this day, he takes his time doing just about everything}. I was not planning on experiencing a traumatic birth in ten days’ time, facing the reality that if I had not been stitched up when I was, I could have been dead. I had no thoughts whatsoever that it could happen to me. I knew women tore in childbirth but for whatever reason I had no idea that women could bleed to death after bringing a new precious baby into the world.

For a few weeks now, I have been contemplating this blog post, but I have not been able to bring myself to talk about it. Sometimes it’s hard. I have not been regularly taking my medicine for a while now because I haven’t been sure if I’d be able to get my refills. I had been wanting to be off medication completely by the end of December, but I was unaware of the changes we’d be going through as a family and stress of moving that we would be enduring.

Every little thing that is out of the norm for me can set my teeth on edge. Being away from all my friends who were so helpful to me in dealing with everything has been hard. Being in a new place and being afraid that people won’t “get it” has been hard.

Some days are harder than others. Some days I feel a little more on edge than others and I can be a little snippier than I’d prefer to be. Sometimes when my friends go into labor, I get really, really scared. I almost had a panic attack watching a certain show where a young lady was going into labor and was losing a lot of blood… yeah, I certainly was not prepared for that!!

But a lot of the time, I’m okay. A lot of the time, I’m better than okay, and sometimes I’m just not okay.

But I’m okay right now, and I just wanted you all to know that I appreciate all your support over the last year.

Especially my caring, thoughtful, understanding, and loving husband who has been my ROCK and who has helped me every step of the way.

I’m blessed, and I’m okay.

my favorite event of 2013

Happy New Year, everyone! May God bless you in 2014!