Benjamin at Five Years Old.

Here’s a fun little thing that I did with Benjamin the past two years. I wanted to do this again because it’s really neat to look back and see how his answers have changed. Plus, he’s hilarious. So here’s a quick little survey, with Benjamin’s answers in Bold.

1. What is your favorite color? Red.
2. What is your favorite toy? Uh, my lego watch. {Which he got for his birthday}
3. What is your favorite fruit? Apples?
4. What is your favorite TV show? Jonah {VeggieTales}
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Peanut Butter Sandwich!
6. What is your favorite outfit? My Georgia outfit! {which he also got for his birthday}
7. What is your favorite game? Raymond Legends
8. What is your favorite snack? Moon Pies
9. What is your favorite animal? A whale
10. What is your favorite song? Jesus Loves Me
11. What is your favorite book? My whale book, I mean my library book.
12. Who is your best friend? Dylan {okay this was cute}
13. What is your favorite cereal? Honey Comb cereal
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Play Pokemon
15. What is your favorite drink? Capri Sun
16. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Well, right now I’m going to take my watch.
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Honey comb ceral
19. What is your favorite thing for dinner? Spaghetti
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? A lot of different stuff that grown-ups can be.
21. What is your favorite movie? You already know… {he says, exasperated} Jonah. VeggieTale Jonah.
22. Who is your favorite superhero? Batman & Robin
23. Where is your favorite place to go? Lanett
24. What is your favorite Bible story? Jonah in the fish
25. What is your favorite Old Testament story? How ‘bout Genesis? And my New Testament one is Matthew.
26. What is your favorite memory verse? “In the beginning, God made the heavens and the earth.” “That’s in Genesis 1:1”
27. What is your favorite letter? “The robot one.” {Yeah, I don’t know, either.}

If you’d like to read his previous years:

Benjamin at Three Years Old
Benjamin at Four Years Old

my benjamin

Silly, goofy, funny

Cute, lovable, entertaining

Handsome, sweet, caring

My happy Benjamin.

blessed.

Last night, I was going through some old videos that I had uploaded and couldn’t help but to linger on the ones of Benjamin when he was a little toddler. I can’t believe how quickly time has passed by… how it feels like only yesterday he was toting around his stuffed Eeyore, watching Blues Clues, and snuggling with me in the mornings. Now, he’s toting around a bug net, watching Transformers, and going off to pre-school in the mornings! It’s hard to believe that my little pudgy-faced Benjamin is really getting to be a big boy… soon the dimples in his hands will be gone and he won’t need any help in the bathroom, he’ll take showers by himself, and then he’ll be taller than me…

I never knew how blessed my life would be when I had Benjamin. I never knew how much love my heart could hold, how I would feel like crying when his little arm wrapped around mine as he cuddled me on the couch. I never knew how much it would mean to me to hear, “Mom, I love you” throughout the day or get those random hugs and kisses.

God has truly blessed me with Benjamin… I am so incredibly blessed to be his mommy…

And now I’m going to share some chocolate cake with my sweet boy.

“Mom, does it have eggs in it?”
”No, it sure doesn’t!”
”I like chocolate cake!”

Pre-School

A couple of weeks ago, I told my dad that parenting was so stressful because you have to make decisions for another human being and there’s not always a clear cut answer as to whether it is the right decision or not… and then, when they’re older, you have to let go and trust them to make their own decisions, whether they be right or wrong. I was stressing because I knew that soon, Benjamin would be starting Pre-School, even if only for four hours a day.

If you had asked Carl or me at the beginning of this year whether or not we were sending Benjamin to public school, we would have answered that we were planning on Homeschooling, and I would have added that I was very excited to embark on that adventure with Benjamin, and then a few years later, Clara.

But, things have changed. I examined myself and realized there were some reasons I was homeschooling that did not have anything to do with my child and his well-being. I had allowed myself to be swayed by others, by their scruples, instead of coming to my own conclusion.

Truth be told, the environment here has a lot to do with our decision to send Benjamin to public school. I was pleasantly surprised when the football teams last Friday night at the high school all huddled up together after the game and had a prayer. Out there. In public. In front of everyone. It was impressive that they weren’t discouraged from doing so. The school system is a good one. We know plenty of the teachers who are members of the church. We know plenty of the students. We plan on being as involved as we are able.

We plan on encouraging Benjamin to be a shining light to others as he goes out to school. This was another thing that swayed me toward public school. We had friends whose son brought boys from school to church several times. I want to give Benjamin the opportunity to do this, because I think it’s something he’d be really great at, seeing as he is so friendly and enjoys making new friends.

There are several other reasons, but I actually didn’t start writing this blog to go on a tangent about that… I actually wanted to say that our first week at WEE school was awesome and Benjamin had a great time! He loved it! He loves his teacher and loves his new friends. Today he came home with a piece of candy that he got out of the prize box because his schoolbus didn’t get moved off of the green light all week!

I’m so proud of him and excited for him. I have saved the papers he’s brought home each day in a folder… including the envelopes with pictures he has drawn me or “letters” he has written me. It’s nice to know that even while he is away at school, he is thinking of me. It sort of makes me tear up every time he brings an envelope to me with “Mommy” written on the front and a stamp drawn in the corner.

I pray every night that Carl and I have made the right decision, and I don’t know if we will ever know for sure… but right now I’m happy that we are able to send Benjamin to WEE school. If you would, please pray for Benjamin. This is an exciting and new experience for him… and I pray, and hope you will too, that he will let his light shine around others.

my first hate mail.

Today marks another first in my book.

Today I received my first ever hate mail. It wasn’t actually mailed to me. Instead, it was handed to me. The person who had written the hate mail then stepped back and watched me read it, probably watching my face to gauge my reaction. Although I had been having a pretty blue morning to begin with {I do still have those days as I battle my depression}, I feel like I handled myself okay {although it did still hurt to receive such a note}.

Why, you ask, would I ever receive a piece of hate mail?

Well, because I told Benjamin he could not have a piece of gum.

Once he handed this note to me, I told him, “Well, that doesn’t seem very nice…” and handed it back to him. He looked at me for a moment before thinking better of his hate mail and crumpled it up, and threw it in the kitchen trash can. A little bit later, he came back into the living room with a fresh piece of paper and told me, “I’m going to write a nice letter now…”

That made me feel better.

While it really did hurt my heart when it happened {isn’t that strange, how something like that can really make you feel sad, even though you know they don’t really mean it? … motherhood can break your heart sometimes!}, it’s really actually super hilarious and I just had to share.

I’m glad that Benjamin is able to convey his feelings… and impressed that he can spell! But I’m also glad that he knew when he was being ugly and knew he needed to change his attitude.

Just another little glimpse into our life…

 
 
 

Love my goofy, emotional boy!

why do you always call me your baby?

This morning, Benjamin asked me a question: “Mom, why do you always call me your baby?”

I told him it was because I loved him and never wanted him to grow up. He told me that he wanted to grow up big like daddy, and I asked him if it bothered him that I called him my baby. He told me that it did.

My heart sank a little when he said that.

Okay, it sank a lot.

I have known for a while that this was coming. He would no longer want to be called my baby. He would no longer want to cuddle and snuggle under the covers like he used to. I had thought that I’d been preparing myself for this, but this morning, I was not prepared. I wanted to squeeze him and tell him that no matter what, he was still going to be my baby, and he didn’t have to like it. That’s just the way it is. Always my baby.

Instead, I asked him if I could call him my big boy, and he said that I could. That is, after all, what he is. He’s big enough to dress himself. Big enough to turn on lights by himself. Big enough to use the bathroom alone. Big enough to sleep in his big, full-sized bed without any rails. Big enough to walk through Walmart without having to hold a hand constantly.

He’s a big boy. He’s four years old. He wants to do things on his own. He doesn’t want to be a baby anymore.

But you know… I hate to break it to Benjamin, but he is always going to be my baby. I remember the first few minutes after his birth, as everything around me went black and all I could hear was the quiet panic of the nurses around me as they scrambled to stop my bleeding and tried to find my pulse. For a short moment, I had resigned myself to the fact that I would not get to truly meet my baby boy because there was nothing they could do to stop the bleeding, so I thought.

The baby boy I thought I’d never get to hold again will always be my baby boy.

So, don’t tell Benjamin, but I am secretly going to keep calling him my baby. Because he always will be.

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up

always my baby.

In all the excitement of adding another limb to our family tree, I sometimes take a step back and look at my son, my first born, and wonder where the time went. It feels like ages ago since he was born – probably because of all the things we have gone through since then including the traumatic birth, having to leave a job, moving twice, and everything else that comes with our crazy, never-dull life. And yet, it also seems like just yesterday that I was kissing my sweet newborn, falling instantly in love with his precious button nose and his tiny fingers and toes.

There’s a book I’m sure you’ve all heard of or read, that has the phrase in it, “As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.” Sometimes it takes experiencing motherhood to understand certain things, and that is one of them. No matter how old Benjamin gets, he is still my baby.

Sweet Benjamin, with his tender heart and his goofy personality… I know a lot of the memories we have made in the past won’t be remembered by him in the future, but I’ll remember them, and I’ll cherish every single one of them. How amazing is it that our hearts can love so fully, over and over again? I have had my fair share of headaches brought on by his craziness, but at the end of the day, I kiss him goodnight and he is as precious as can be, no matter the kind of day we’ve had.

It’s so fun to watch him learn new things, and so fun to see how excited he is when he learns something new that makes him more of a big boy. One of these days, he won’t need us to help him get going on his bike, or he won’t need us to hold his hand while he roller skates. He won’t need us to pour him drinks or help him brush his teeth {he’s already doing that on his own a lot of nights}. He won’t care to have two stories read to him, and he won’t want the extra hug and kiss as he snuggles in for bed.

But I’ll still remember all the goofy smiles and the warm hugs and sweet kisses. I’ll remember his sweet little voice and the way he laces his fingers with mine to hold his hand when we’re sitting together. I’ll remember him bursting into our room at 7AM to come snuggle in bed, wrapping his arms around my neck, or him asking if we can go cuddle in mommy’s bed {I can never, ever say no to that}. He may not remember it all, but I will. And I’m so glad. What would I do without these precious memories?

God has blessed me so richly… I am so thankful.

slow it down.

Perhaps it’s because we have gotten down to the wire here in the last two weeks of the pregnancy {if you want to be technical, two weeks and two days}. Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten to the point where I just can’t do what I used to be able to do, whether because I’m too big in the tummy, too tired, or my super un-fun symptoms keep me from doing it… and that to me is frustrating. Maybe it’s because of the insomnia or maybe it’s just part of the last couple weeks in general, but it feels like time is slowing down for me.

Granted, I don’t want it to speed up, not really. Sure, it’d be nice to get rid of these symptoms. It’d be nice not to have feet jamming up into my ribs, or having to haul a giant belly around, or from side to side if I get uncomfortable in bed. It’d be nice to not have to visit the bathroom so often because a little miss is pushing on my bladder. It’d be nice to not be out of breath doing normal, every day, mundane tasks.

It’d also be nice to hold my sweet baby in my arms and be able to look at her face, instead of just wondering what she looks like while she kicks and thrashes in my belly. It’d be nice to see all this hard work {growing a baby IS hard work} paid off with a precious bundle of joy. I ‘m anxious to see Benjamin’s reaction to his baby sister and see how we all mold together as a family of four instead of a family of three.

But even though I’m anxious to be done with the whole process, and anxious to have baby C in my arms, I don’t really  want things to speed up. These last few weeks are so crucial in development. With Benjamin, I went five days over my due date before being induced {and if I knew then what I know now, I would never have agreed to being induced even then, when there was no real medical necessity}. I know now how important it is to let the baby grow as long as possible. I don’t want her to be here earlier than necessary. I don’t want her to be out at 37 weeks, or 38 weeks. 39 weeks is already pushing it for my comfort levels, but for the health of me and the baby, it’s just necessary that they do the c-section at 39 weeks instead of possibly risking me going into labor on my own {fingers crossed that doesn’t happen!!}.

No, I don’t want her early… but it sure would be nice if time would cooperate with me and speed up just a tad, instead of this ‘slowing down’ business. Although everything slowing down has allowed me to spend more time with my Benjamin… something I wouldn’t trade for the world because he won’t be little for too much longer, and soon there will be another little person here fighting for attention.

I’m thankful to God for these precious two weeks before the baby comes… for this time to be able to slow down a bit and spend time with my little boy. I wouldn’t trade these sweet moments for the world.

 

benjamin at 4 years old.

I did this last year after Benjamin’s birthday, asking him different questions as a fun little survey to know his thoughts on different subjects. I thought it’d be fun to do it again. Benjamin’s answers are bolded.

1. What is your favorite color? Red
2. What is your favorite toy? My trains.
3. What is your favorite fruit? Fruit snacks!!
4. What is your favorite TV show? Clifford!
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Peanut Butter Nutella Sandwich!  
6. What is your favorite outfit? Spider-Man
7. What is your favorite game? Indiana Jones and Lego Batman 2
8. What is your favorite snack? Moon Pies!! 
9. What is your favorite animal? Cows!
10. What is your favorite song? Jesus Loves Me
11. What is your favorite book? “Jangles” {which is the dumbest book ever…}
12. Who is your best friend? Gabe!
13. What is your favorite cereal? Apple Jacks {same as last year!}
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Play!
15. What is your favorite drink? Yogurt drink!
16. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas!
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? My Toys & books
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Yogurt!!!!
19. What is your favorite thing for dinner? Hamburgers!!!
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? A grown up!!
21. What is your favorite movie? Clifford!
22. Who is your favorite superhero? Super man! 
23. Where is your favorite place to go? Bible Class!
24. What is your favorite Bible story? Jesus on the Cross
25. What is your favorite Old Testament story? Noah!
26. What is your favorite memory verse? “Jesus died on the cross.”
27. What is your favorite letter? “B-E-N-J-A-M-I-N, that’s what all my favorite letters are.”

 

He cracks me up. These are totally Ben answers. Goofball! Here are a few pictures from his birthday, in case you haven’t seen them:

snow in alabama.

In case you have been living underneath a rock of some sort, last week Alabama saw snow! I don’t believe we saw any last year that I can remember, and Benjamin can’t really remember the other few times he has seen snow, so literally 5 minutes after I woke up, we all dressed and headed outside to stand outside in the cold. And this is a sacrifice on my part because I actually hate snow with a cold-hearted passion.

 

But seriously, how could I pass up the opportunity to take pictures of Benjamin out in the snow, even if all he did was stood around? I’m attempting to get back into the practice of taking more photos. I never thought that I’d start falling short on that one, but you know… it happens I guess!

The flakes were really big, but as soon as they hit anything, they were pretty much gone. Of course, growing up in the South, this really wasn’t much of a surprise to me. I sort of wish that Benjamin had been able to see some sort of accumulation. Tuscaloosa actually had some accumulation, but the only reason we were there that afternoon was because I had a doctor’s appointment.

I think that one of Benjamin’s favorite parts of it all happened to be finally wearing his giraffe rain boots. He’s had them for a couple of years thanks to our good friend Maddie and he can finally fit in them and doesn’t walk quite as awkwardly. I just can’t believe it though… finally able to fit in those boots. {aren’t they precious?}

 
 

The snow barely lasted an hour and a half from what I remember, honestly, but it was nice to be able to take these pictures.

I wonder if it will snow again anytime this winter. The weather has been so wacky and unpredictable, so who knows?