O, To Be Like Thee

There is something, and I am sure that most if not all parents would agree, so very humbling about parenting that sometimes just takes my breath away. Especially lately. Benjamin will be three (yes, THREE!) in just a few short months. He’s at that stage where he is repeating everything we say and paying attention to every little detail. He’s always got those beautiful blue eyes peeled wide open, just soaking it all in. Absorbing it. It’s amazing because I believe so many people underestimate how much information these tiny little minds can store. It’s humbling because it reminds me just how careful we need to be, because one thing that this little person wants to do, is … well, everything. Everything he sees us do.

It reminds me of a hymn that we sometimes sing … “O, To Be Like Thee” – you know the one? It gets me thinking … Benjamin really looks up to us. He really wants to be like us as much as possible. He wants to do what we do. He wants to say what we say. He wants to eat what we eat (which is difficult if what we’re eating has eggs in it – yes, still working with that allergy). He wants to drink what we drink (unless it’s a soda, because he thinks those are ‘yucky’). You would think sometimes that he would just be thinking desperately, “O, to be like mommy” or “O, to be like daddy”.

You see, he puts a lot of effort into being like mommy or like daddy.

And we sing “O, to be like Thee, blessed Redeemer, pure as Thou art” … but do we always put that effort into it?

Me … well, I will be the first to tell anyone that I’m not perfect. I do my best – sometimes not even that and I’m ashamed to say it! But it’s true. I don’t always do my best. I could do more. I know I can do more.

Oh! to be like Thee, full of compassion,
Loving, forgiving, tender and kind,
Helping the helpless, cheering the fainting,
Seeking the wand’ring sinner to find.

Loving … forgiving … tender and kind. Full of compassion. I can do better than what I’m doing now … certainly, I can.

So when Benjamin mimics me, he can also be mimicking Christ. Does that make sense? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could instill that in him … to put even more effort into being Christ-like when he’s older?

It starts with me, though.

Humbling, right? Sobering. My toes are all sorts of sore from treading on them this past week as I’ve been milling this thought around through my head, wondering why we sing such songs and never really take them to heart … Ouch, Kristen. It starts with me.

It starts with soaking up God’s word … and desiring to live Christ-like. O, to be like Him! I know I can do so much more than I have been. Y’all pray for me. I don’t always have my priorities in the right order.

Oh! to be like Thee, blessed Redeemer,
This is my constant longing and prayer;
Gladly I’ll forfeit all of earth’s treasures,
Jesus, Thy perfect likeness to wear.

Oh! to be like Thee, oh! to be like Thee,
Blessed Redeemer, pure as Thou art;
Come in Thy sweetness, come in Thy fullness;
Stamp Thine own image deep on my heart.

I'm Flawed.

It's true. I'm flawed. I don't like admitting my flaws or admitting that I really need to work on something, but it's true. I would much rather say that I am perfect in every which way, but that's just not true. I'm flawed, and I need daily to work on my flaws.

I have a problem with holding my tongue. I don't mean that I can't control my tongue so that profanity rolls off of it. But I do have a problem holding my tongue on the road. There are so many people out there who I feel shouldn't be out there driving, and when I see someone doing something stupid out there, I ... well, for lack of better term, I explode. You can ask my husband.

The good news is, I'm improving. Today when our light turned green, I was very thankful that Carl didn't immediately move because about 5-10 seconds after the light turned, here came this speeding SUV on through her red light. I looked, and she was talking on her cell phone {of course}. If my husband had gone ahead right when the light turned green, and if he hadn't put on the brakes when he realized she was barreling through, we would have been creamed. And that makes me mad.

The bad news is that I still yelled when the woman barreled through. I still fumed about it for a while afterward. While it was definitely not okay for her to zoom through that redlight and put others' lives at risk, it was not okay for me to rant and rave about what she did, either. Especially not with Benjamin in the car! What kind of example am I setting for my son when I'm up here hollering about how "stupid" the woman was?

"Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man." Colossians 4:6

And what about the people in other cars who can see me getting upset in my car? Do you think that those people would think I was a Christian from what they saw? I doubt it.

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." Matthew 5:16

Holding my tongue and keeping my temper at bay is something I am constantly working on. I'm flawed. The woman made a mistake and so did I. And maybe she will pay more attention to her driving after this, and maybe she'll put down her phone when she's driving. And next time I'll put more effort into making sure I'm setting the right example for my child, and keeping a Christ-like attitude about the things and people around me.

Pray for me as I try to improve. We're all a work in progress, aren't we?