Dear Across-The-Street-Neighbors,

I'mtiredofit!

I am tired of your late-night, bumpin' dance parties. I'm tired of your bass-blasting, thuggin' cars that go BOOM-BOOM BOOM-BOOM in the dead of night. I'm tired of not being able to step outside with you all out their without hearing every known cuss word to the English language.

There is absolutely no reason for you to have your music up THAT LOUD in the middle of the night, in the middle of a NEIGHBORHOOD where BABIES live. I honestly have never known such self-centered, inconsiderate, rude, arrogant people in my entire life. We have asked you to stop, time and time again. The cops have been called on numerous occasions. Why do you keep doing this??

Tonight, your bass-blasting car woke my son up, thankyouverymuch.

It is so hard for me to control my temper every time I hear that rap music blasting out for the entire neighborhood to hear, shaking and rattling our windows. I am tired of having to practice patience this often! Give me a break, please!

Hey remember that sound ordinance my husband brought over to you back in November? It's still in affect. Please observe. You are breaking the law past a certain point.

Please, if you could, try to think of anyone other than yourselves for once. Try and think of the 17 month old baby across the street, or the 15 month old on the other side of us. Think about the other children around us who need their sleep as well. How about the working parents who need a good night's sleep so they can get up and provide for their families?

If all else fails, think about your own children and what sort of unruly, uncaring, inconsiderate examples you are being to them.

Very Sincerely,
Your Across-the-Street Neighbors

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"Vent"age. Sorta.

Venting feels good.

I had a rough night with Benjamin in Bible Class and during the Invitation tonight. Even after that, something someone said to me made my night even worse. I felt horrible on the way home, and upset. I vented to Hubby because he was right there with everything, and because he is my best friend and is so good about listening to me and offering advice. My mom called and as she is my second best friend, I vented to her as well. She also listened to me and offered advice. I felt better, but not happy like I wanted to be.

I wanted to vent some more. On my blog. I just wanted to get it all out of my system and move on.

Well my night turned for the better with a compliment on one of my embroidery pieces from Jenny Hart, the author of the Sublime Stitching embroidery book that I own. It made my night! It's funny how a simple, meaningful comment can just turn your night around. I don't feel like venting anymore. I don't feel like I have anything to get off my chest.

I like that. I like when I don't have to sit and pour everything out on my blog, because while I do like to be real and I certainly don't want to pretend like my life is all roses, I don't want to sit down and say something that I'm going to regret later, especially if it is about someone in particular. I can be as vague as I want to be, but whatever I say, I know who I'm talking about and more than that - God knows.

What do you think about being real when you blog? Do you think you should always blog the good, the bad, and the ugly? Do you think you should never put a filter on what you say, no matter who might be reading?

It's important for me to watch what I say on my blog for a few reasons. For one reason, I am "the preacher's wife". Things aren't always wonderful as the preacher's wife. In fact, I could probably go on any sort of rant about the ugly parts of being a preaching family that I have already encountered.

However, I need to be careful about what I say because of my influence as the preacher's wife, and because of the fact that anyone can read my blog. I love where we are and who we are with. I would never want to hurt anyone with any words I put out on my blog in a moment of upset and intimacy with my audience. Our words affect those around us, whether we realize it or not. Even if the person doesn't personally know us, we could set out a bad face for our congregation and the Lord's church as a whole. I have learned a lot about controlling my tongue {or fingertips in blogging!} since I have been a preacher's wife. I like to tell people how it is! It has been a big learning experience for me and oh I am so thankful for God's long-suffering toward me, a flawed human being!

Another reason I do not blog every single ugly thing that happens to me is because I am not a "Debbie Downer". I don't like making people sad or upset. I don't like riling angry mobs and I don't like attending pity parties and certainly don't enjoy being the guest of honor. I don't personally enjoy reading blogs that are merely used as a means to blow off steam. I'm not an angry person by nature, and I would never want to come off as being angry and hateful or ungrateful for all the good things God has given me and blessed us with.

The main reason I do not always blog the ugly parts of life is because I want to put off the impression that I am a Christian. I believe that the way we choose to handle our trials and tribulations plays a great deal into the way we understand our duties and expectations as children of God. While Christians do fall into troubling times from time to time, and while it is good to always be real and honest, I feel that handling it through my blog is not the way to go about it. I cannot spew hatred and anger and venomous words all over my blog and feel like I have acted in a Christian manner, or that my actions have at all been pleasing to God. How can I glorify God by laying down the ugly in all it's ugliness?

"For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s." 1 Corinthians 5:13

HOWEVER --- I do not believe that it is wrong to vent on your blog. I don't believe that there is absolutely no way that you can vent without doing so in a Christian manner. It is totally possible. I am just saying that me coming on here in the midst of my anger would have most likely ended really ugly. I sometimes have a way with letting my words run wild more so when I type than when I talk.

I have a blog mantra I guess you might say - something I always like to remind myself when I sit down to write a blog. Sometimes I feel like putting it to the side and letting myself run wild, but it is very important to me that I remind myself of what Philippians 4:8 says:

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

I don't want you to feel like I am hiding my life from you, or that I'm just trying to live in some fantasy life where my husband and I get along perfectly 100% of the time, or where I never make parenting mistakes, or where my house is always {chuckle, snort} clean, or where I have no worries or concerns whatsoever, or where nobody in the world annoys me or infuriates me or crushes my spirits. I just don't want to give room for the Devil to take over my thoughts.

"Neither give place to the devil." Ephesians 4:27

We all know he is just looking for the right opportunity to jump in and corrupt everything good.

I appreciate each and every single comment that you all left on my blog post about having a crummy day a few weeks back. I cherish all the friendships I have made through blogging and every one of you that keep coming back and encouraging me, I am so thankful for you. You all are so wonderful.

I'm a big-time sap so excuse me while I pull you all in for a group hug! Ahh! That's good.

Well, I feel so much better about my day.

Oh, and we got our new car back today. I also got Fathers' Day shopping done!

I'm going to go ahead and call this a successful day. I'll be going to bed with a smile on my face and thankfulness in my heart. God is so good! I hope you all have a wonderful Thursday! I am excited to see family and visit Lane's!!

feeling crummy

I don't like to write about negative things on my blog very often. Personally I like to blog by the standard set forth in Philippians 4:8:

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

I don't like reading blogs that complain all the time, and I don't expect anyone one else to enjoy listening to me complain either. So generally I keep that off my blog.

But I'm feeling pretty crummy right now and I feel like I need to get this off my chest so I can move on with my day. I have taken time to calm myself, doing things like the dishes and tidying the kitchen. I even went to take a shower and intended to have lunch but Mariah was awake so now I'm feeding her lunch. Anyway, I've prayed about this. I'm calmer.

I'm trying not to dwell.

I think it began when Benjamin would not nap. He came into the kitchen and immediately wanted a brownie. I told him no because he hadn't had lunch yet and would you believe that he didn't appreciate my answer? So began the screaming that lasted about 45 minutes. Maybe he was just tired. I pulled out lunch to give to him and since he would not calm down, I made him sit on the "naughty stool" until his lunch was ready. He sat there and screamed the whole time but didn't get up until I told him to... {something positive?}.

He screamed when I tried to feed him lunch. I let him sit there and I believe I was a bit snappy at my husband because of my frustration. I came back with jello and fruit which he gladly ate for a while, then he ate the rest of his lunch before he decided he didn't want that... you'll never guess what he asked for when I put him down on the floor again.

Yes, a brownie.

I told him he was sadly mistaken if he thought his behavior warranted a brownie. Diaper changed, and back to the crib he went.

I don't think he's slept. But he needs to and he is not coming out of his crib to scream at me.

It's days like today where you just want to go off on your own to be alone, or you want everyone else to go off and leave you alone. Peace and quiet is all I want. I want my house to stay clean and I want everyone to put everything back where it came from when they are done with it, or to clean up their messes. It's days like today that make me appreciate the one day a year that mother's get to feel really appreciated because every other day of the year, you just don't feel it. Days like today make you feel like you're going to snap while you struggle not to get angry and let the Devil win over your temperament.

And maybe this was just the straw that broke the camel's back. I don't feel this way every time I get frustrated, and I certainly don't feel this way a majority of the days out of the year. It's just been one of those days. Or weeks. Or months.

Benjamin is a very good, very well-behaved child. Maybe he is just having an off-day. Maybe we both are. And maybe after getting all my thoughts out, I can continue on without thinking about it.

And maybe I'll get a chance to have lunch sometime soon.

And maybe I'll get to sew something for my mom.

And maybe I'll bake some cupcakes.

And maybe I'll make something up for dinner.

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

I feel better.