I had a rough night with Benjamin in Bible Class and during the Invitation tonight. Even after that, something someone said to me made my night even worse. I felt horrible on the way home, and upset. I vented to Hubby because he was right there with everything, and because he is my best friend and is so good about listening to me and offering advice. My mom called and as she is my second best friend, I vented to her as well. She also listened to me and offered advice. I felt better, but not happy like I wanted to be.
I wanted to vent some more. On my blog. I just wanted to get it all out of my system and move on.
Well my night turned for the better with a compliment on one of my embroidery pieces from Jenny Hart, the author of the Sublime Stitching embroidery book that I own. It made my night! It's funny how a simple, meaningful comment can just turn your night around. I don't feel like venting anymore. I don't feel like I have anything to get off my chest.
I like that. I like when I don't have to sit and pour everything out on my blog, because while I do like to be real and I certainly don't want to pretend like my life is all roses, I don't want to sit down and say something that I'm going to regret later, especially if it is about someone in particular. I can be as vague as I want to be, but whatever I say, I know who I'm talking about and more than that - God knows.
What do you think about being real when you blog? Do you think you should always blog the good, the bad, and the ugly? Do you think you should never put a filter on what you say, no matter who might be reading?
It's important for me to watch what I say on my blog for a few reasons. For one reason, I am "the preacher's wife". Things aren't always wonderful as the preacher's wife. In fact, I could probably go on any sort of rant about the ugly parts of being a preaching family that I have already encountered.
However, I need to be careful about what I say because of my influence as the preacher's wife, and because of the fact that anyone can read my blog. I love where we are and who we are with. I would never want to hurt anyone with any words I put out on my blog in a moment of upset and intimacy with my audience. Our words affect those around us, whether we realize it or not. Even if the person doesn't personally know us, we could set out a bad face for our congregation and the Lord's church as a whole. I have learned a lot about controlling my tongue {or fingertips in blogging!} since I have been a preacher's wife. I like to tell people how it is! It has been a big learning experience for me and oh I am so thankful for God's long-suffering toward me, a flawed human being!
Another reason I do not blog every single ugly thing that happens to me is because I am not a "Debbie Downer". I don't like making people sad or upset. I don't like riling angry mobs and I don't like attending pity parties and certainly don't enjoy being the guest of honor. I don't personally enjoy reading blogs that are merely used as a means to blow off steam. I'm not an angry person by nature, and I would never want to come off as being angry and hateful or ungrateful for all the good things God has given me and blessed us with.
The main reason I do not always blog the ugly parts of life is because I want to put off the impression that I am a Christian. I believe that the way we choose to handle our trials and tribulations plays a great deal into the way we understand our duties and expectations as children of God. While Christians do fall into troubling times from time to time, and while it is good to always be real and honest, I feel that handling it through my blog is not the way to go about it. I cannot spew hatred and anger and venomous words all over my blog and feel like I have acted in a Christian manner, or that my actions have at all been pleasing to God. How can I glorify God by laying down the ugly in all it's ugliness?
"For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s." 1 Corinthians 5:13
HOWEVER --- I do not believe that it is wrong to vent on your blog. I don't believe that there is absolutely no way that you can vent without doing so in a Christian manner. It is totally possible. I am just saying that me coming on here in the midst of my anger would have most likely ended really ugly. I sometimes have a way with letting my words run wild more so when I type than when I talk.
I have a blog mantra I guess you might say - something I always like to remind myself when I sit down to write a blog. Sometimes I feel like putting it to the side and letting myself run wild, but it is very important to me that I remind myself of what Philippians 4:8 says:
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."
I don't want you to feel like I am hiding my life from you, or that I'm just trying to live in some fantasy life where my husband and I get along perfectly 100% of the time, or where I never make parenting mistakes, or where my house is always {chuckle, snort} clean, or where I have no worries or concerns whatsoever, or where nobody in the world annoys me or infuriates me or crushes my spirits. I just don't want to give room for the Devil to take over my thoughts.
"Neither give place to the devil." Ephesians 4:27
We all know he is just looking for the right opportunity to jump in and corrupt everything good.
I appreciate each and every single comment that you all left on my blog post about having a crummy day a few weeks back. I cherish all the friendships I have made through blogging and every one of you that keep coming back and encouraging me, I am so thankful for you. You all are so wonderful.
I'm a big-time sap so excuse me while I pull you all in for a group hug! Ahh! That's good.
Well, I feel so much better about my day.
Oh, and we got our new car back today. I also got Fathers' Day shopping done!
I'm going to go ahead and call this a successful day. I'll be going to bed with a smile on my face and thankfulness in my heart. God is so good! I hope you all have a wonderful Thursday! I am excited to see family and visit Lane's!!
That was a great reminder, Kristen! We should all take the extra time to think about how we use our words....written or spoken, and always ask ourselves, "Is this something I would want Jesus to read or hear."
ReplyDeleteI have vented on my blog when maybe I shouldn't have before. I knew the person would never see it (I don't think they even have the internet or know what a blog is for that matter) and I knew that no one else would know who I was talking about (because no one else overheard), but I did feel a little guilty later. I mostly did it so everyone would tell me that person was wrong and make me feel better about myself. I wouldn't really say that it was wrong, but I wouldn't say that it was the best decision either. I think some situations are perfectly fine to vent about because there is no possibility that any one will be hurt by it. But when it can effect our example or hurt others we should just leave it out. I think it's unwise to get into the details of our personal lives with our spouses as well. Obviously that's not something you do. I can't imagine it's very helpful to one's marriage to tell the whole blogosphere how annoying it was when your husband did such-and-such. I think we do need to take into consideration how what we say effects others attitudes and perceptions. As a Christian I am to be an example in everything. Paul said,"Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ." I want to be able to say that.
ReplyDeleteGlad your day turned out well!
I think you hit the nail on the head about the balance there. As followers of Christ, we're to be positive, even in trials - Acts 16:25, Philippians 4:11 because Christ came to give us the abundant life (John 10:10)! But Christ didn't tell people that the Christian walk would be all roses - when someone wanted to follow Him, He plainly told them that it would be hard (Matthew 8:20; 10:21-22). We're to bear one another's burdens, yet still bear our own, everyday burdens (Gal. 6:2,5), and I think that even applies to blogging. It's not appropriate for a Christian to rant about every single problem he or she has, and like you, I find that a big turn-off! But it can be beneficial and even encouraging to others to see how we [should] deal with extra hard situations, and to let others know if we are struggling! I truly appreciate all the thought you put into that "Philippians 4:8 balance" here! :)
ReplyDeleteSorry, I meant to put that the verse I quoted was from 1 Corinthians 11:1.
ReplyDeleteWell-written and thought out! Phil. 4:8 applies to sooo much of our lives...and thank you for the reminder. We all need to vent at times, and it seems to me that we should take our cares to the Father too (and our husbands are so sweet to listen and listen and listen...). You take care now!
ReplyDeleteI think you can be real on your blog while still filtering. I also think because of your role as a preacher's wife, you are able to show that you are just as human as the rest of us. You are happy, sad, get angry, and make mistakes for which you feel bad. We can all relate and appreciate that, and we are able to see how you work through everything as a Christian. I heart you in your entirety.
ReplyDeleteSorry that you had such a vent-worthy day...those are never fun. I agree with blueviolet--you can be real while still being cautious. It's the medium that needs to be balanced, which, I think you do a good job with. :-)
ReplyDeleteI have been blogging for nearly three years now and I honestly believe that you should be able to say whatever you want on your blog. Make your blog your own. Personalize it. If you don't feel comfortable writing about certain things that are happening in your life then don't write about those things.
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I have visited your blog and I love it! You are doing a wonderful job and I understand why you are careful about what you write.
Thanks so much Julia! I love everything you said here. I agree with you!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by Cascia! I agree with you - you should be able to be comfortable with what you write and make it your own that way. Thanks for commenting, I hope you come back!
ReplyDeleteThanks Hannah! I agree with you there - I do think you can be real and still be filtered about what you write about. Sometimes it's hard!
ReplyDeleteAwwh thanks so much blueviolet! I am trying very hard to show everyone that just because I'm a preacher's wife doesn't mean I'm ... inhuman? hehe. I think you're right there though! Thanks so much!
ReplyDeleteThanks! Yes, I am so thankful that God is so patient with me and listens to me as well! HE makes all the difference!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Micah! I do think that you can vent in a harmless way, and it is always good to reach out for assurance and encouragement from others. I love how God gave us relationships so we can draw strength from one another.
ReplyDeleteI want to be able to say that as well - thanks for the reminder!!!
Thanks Tracie! I don't think a lot of people keep what Jesus would think about what we're saying in mind, else they wouldn't say a lot of what they do say. It's a good thing to remember - because he does hear and see what we write, do, say, think... everything! And what is His opinion of me? "I never knew you"? - I pray not!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't see anything wrong w/ venting on your blog. I think that you should only write what you won't regret putting down later. I think it's good for people to see that as Christians we aren't all happy happy 24/7. We do still have troubles!! We just need to remember to be an example too. Sure, we're gonna stumble at times but we can pick ourselves back up too.
ReplyDeleteI like you.
ReplyDeletei feel ya...i struggle with this a lot. i also struggle with having the right attitude in general. this life we both lead is a great life, but it doesn't come without its discouragements. i go back and forth about my identity as "the preacher's wife." i am married to a preacher, but i'm still me. i guess i'm just trying to figure it all out. i certainly make many mistakes and have plenty of regrets, but thankfully i can look back and see that they were all lessons learned. i think that is the key for me. i allow myself room for mistakes, but expect to grow and change into something better when mistakes occur. and boy do i ever have a lot of room for growth!
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