"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."
I don't like reading blogs that complain all the time, and I don't expect anyone one else to enjoy listening to me complain either. So generally I keep that off my blog.
But I'm feeling pretty crummy right now and I feel like I need to get this off my chest so I can move on with my day. I have taken time to calm myself, doing things like the dishes and tidying the kitchen. I even went to take a shower and intended to have lunch but Mariah was awake so now I'm feeding her lunch. Anyway, I've prayed about this. I'm calmer.
I'm trying not to dwell.
I think it began when Benjamin would not nap. He came into the kitchen and immediately wanted a brownie. I told him no because he hadn't had lunch yet and would you believe that he didn't appreciate my answer? So began the screaming that lasted about 45 minutes. Maybe he was just tired. I pulled out lunch to give to him and since he would not calm down, I made him sit on the "naughty stool" until his lunch was ready. He sat there and screamed the whole time but didn't get up until I told him to... {something positive?}.
He screamed when I tried to feed him lunch. I let him sit there and I believe I was a bit snappy at my husband because of my frustration. I came back with jello and fruit which he gladly ate for a while, then he ate the rest of his lunch before he decided he didn't want that... you'll never guess what he asked for when I put him down on the floor again.
Yes, a brownie.
I told him he was sadly mistaken if he thought his behavior warranted a brownie. Diaper changed, and back to the crib he went.
I don't think he's slept. But he needs to and he is not coming out of his crib to scream at me.
It's days like today where you just want to go off on your own to be alone, or you want everyone else to go off and leave you alone. Peace and quiet is all I want. I want my house to stay clean and I want everyone to put everything back where it came from when they are done with it, or to clean up their messes. It's days like today that make me appreciate the one day a year that mother's get to feel really appreciated because every other day of the year, you just don't feel it. Days like today make you feel like you're going to snap while you struggle not to get angry and let the Devil win over your temperament.
And maybe this was just the straw that broke the camel's back. I don't feel this way every time I get frustrated, and I certainly don't feel this way a majority of the days out of the year. It's just been one of those days. Or weeks. Or months.
Benjamin is a very good, very well-behaved child. Maybe he is just having an off-day. Maybe we both are. And maybe after getting all my thoughts out, I can continue on without thinking about it.
And maybe I'll get a chance to have lunch sometime soon.
And maybe I'll get to sew something for my mom.
And maybe I'll bake some cupcakes.
And maybe I'll make something up for dinner.
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."
I feel better.
We definitely all have those days...and I can imagine it's even harder when you're a mom and you can't go off and have your own downtime anytime you want.
ReplyDeleteI hope the rest of your day is light-hearted and scream-free! :)
Hang in there girl!!! I know it's hard sometimes, but try to stop and thank God for the little things. I know all too well of the daily struggles of raising a toddler. My kiddos are 23 months apart, so I was dealing with 2 little attitudes! I am always here if you need to just vent about the not so fun moments of being a mom! I would love to give you the hope that everyone says in "things will get better", but the truth is different ages just bring different issues. If you have any advice for a soon to be 9 year old boy who knows EVERYTHING and thinks you know nothing, I would love it!!! Love you and hang in there!
ReplyDeleteAw Kristen, I'm so sorry you are having a crummy day. I think most of us can say we know what it's like to have those kinds of days - especially moms. You are doing the right thing - praying and dwelling on Scripture - the best thing to get through those rough times. Hang in there. <3
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you shared! I believe it's good to be real on your blog...even if it means there is an occasional 'down' post. We all have crummy days. I'm praying for you! Love & hugs!
ReplyDeleteRest assured all mommies have these days so you are so not alone! Kyndra loves to push the limits and also loves to snack!! Food with her can be quite a battle but all these things will pass!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand - and oddly enough today was one of those days for me too. I agree that blogs shouldn't be about complaining all the time and on the same token, I sincerely believe we do a disservice to other mothers and women when we don't give an honest description of how our lives are. I think everyone has tough days and if we never show that side of us, it can be discouraging to others who are experiencing difficult times. I would never wish a hard day on you or anyone, but the positive way you handled it is an encouragement to the rest of us when we also have tough days so thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate your Philippians 4:8 "themed" blog and I agree with you that we should try to be positive as much as possible... but I'm also glad you went ahead and wrote this! I think sometimes it's just as needed for others to see that the Christian life isn't roses every single day and that there are Christlike ways of dealing with those crummy times. So to me, even your "down" posts are encouraging in their own way. You're letting your light shine more than you know. :)
ReplyDeleteI have those days more often than I would like to admit! Getting it out usually helps me. I'm here for you if you ever need someone to vent to!
ReplyDeleteEven though I am not a mom I can definitely relate to these kinds of days. Thanks so much for the reminder to get my eyes back on Christ and also for sharing your heart. Praying for you girl! <3
ReplyDeleteKristen, so sorry you had a crummy day. I know you said you dont like to be negative but honestly this blog helped me. I didnt look at it as negative, but more like thank goodness there is someone out there who is going through the same things I am. This was very encouraging to me. I do think we all need to vent sometimes and sometimes it makes you come back to the table better equipped to handle things. Right now, almost on a daily basis I'm stressed out so much. With my kids, it is mostly all centered around the dinner table. Getting my kids to eat and eat healthy is a trial. My 17 mo doesnt want to eat solid food, except cheerios. He still likes the texture of baby food. Compound that by all the other stress I have right now...I feel like stress/issues from every single direction some times, I get to a place of actually sobbing and wanting to pull my hair out!
ReplyDeleteOne thing I can tell you or help you with (maybe the only area) is make sure you find other mother's to talk to and get advice and help from. Remember you dont always have to follow that advice b/c it is your child. But sometimes if you dont have people to vent with and to see how they handle situations it can become overwhelming and even bottle up. Dont think of it as being negative about this situation or that situation, but look at it as therapy for you both. You may neverknow how your sitatuation is actually helping someone else!! You may also find the answer to a probelm from a friend who has gone through something similar.
Don't feel guilty for admitting that you may not know how to handle a situation. I felt that way often when I had my first child (and 2nd..and 3rd). Sometimes other mothers made me feel that way (guilty). And sometimes in-laws especially. Sometimes I came away feeling like "they think I can't handle my own baby" or "they think I'm an idiot". With some moms it was like, I'm superior and I dont have probelms! My baby is perfect and I dont have to deal with that kind of stuff! Just kidding, no one actually said that but I did get that impression sometimes. So, find people you can talk to. Maybe the best place to do that is here on your blog.
Like I said, sorry about your crummy day, hope things go easier for you! Even though I've been a mother for almost 7 years and have 3 kids, but reading your "crummy day" helped me!