I’ve been getting a lot of people asking me how my eye is doing since I really haven’t been talking much about it as I’ve had a much cuter subject to talk about recently… I figured I’d give you all an update, although it really isn’t much of one.
My eye is pretty much the same. Some days are better, some days are worse, depending on what I do or even how I slept the night before. Basically the way my retina doctor described it was as if it were a pool of muddy water. The more I do, the more “stirred up” it gets and the more visible the hemorrhage is in my eye, the blurrier my vision, etc. I don’t know if I’m just getting used to the way it looks with the hemorrhage in my vision, or if it’s actually reabsorbing, but some days it seems like there is less blood blocking my vision.
I never made it back to my retina doctor because they wanted to do a dye test on me, and the dye would stay in my system for three days – meaning that I would have to pump three days’ worth milk for Clara before hand, and then pump and dump for three days afterward. Since this eye problem isn’t getting any worse, and doesn’t seem detrimental, we decided to put it off until it seems more “doable” for us.
So … that’s where we are. It’s annoying, but I guess you take what you’re given, right?
Here are a few things that are really hard to do when you’re “half blind”, in case you were wondering:
- Putting on makeup. Especially eye makeup, especially on my right eye since I can’t see what I’m doing, at all. So if you see me and my right eye makeup looks like Benjamin applied it… it’s because it’s like putting on make up while having to look into the dirtiest mirror possible. Oh, and without any depth perception. So eye-stabbing with eyeliner is inevitable.
- Painting fingernails/toenails. Even if I close one eye to try and concentrate on my nails, it’s really difficult to gauge distance when I really don’t have any depth perception. Seriously my nails look hilarious if I don’t take my time, and I mean a LOT of time.
- Cooking. Pouring things oftentimes results in things being spilled all over the counter. This is another thing I have to be careful to take my time doing… nobody wants undercooked food because the cook couldn’t see it. Chopping things? That’s scary. I’m afraid I’ll cut my finger off whenever I start chopping.
- Sweeping/Vacuuming. I miss a lot of the small things when I vacuum or sweep now. {Of course, I don’t vacuum right now because our amazing vacuum is a little heavy and I don’t want to set myself back in my recovery}. And no, this isn’t an excuse for having dirty floors! ha!
- Dishes. Seriously not fun reaching into the dishwasher and hoping you grab the right end of a knife!
- Reading. It’s so hard for my eyes to focus that I can’t read for long periods of time. And typing? Worse. This blog post alone has taken a few days for me to put together! Yes, it’s that bad!
However… no matter how difficult things get, I am thankful that it isn’t worse. I was so afraid when I went to the retina doctor that he would say I had indicators of retinitis pigmentosa, which is an eye disease that my mother has. Thankful to God that he said there was no indication of RP!
So now, we wait to see if my eye will reabsorb the blood, or if I will need to have it drained surgically and filled with saline… gross, I know. Blah. I hate thinking of it.
In case you were wondering… things that are difficult while holding a clingy newborn while you are nearly half-blind:
- Everything.
