adjusting… pt 2.

I know I was asking for it when I said yesterday that things were going really well as far as adjusting was going.

Wouldn’t you know that today was a really difficult day? Maybe it was because last night, miss Clara decided she wanted to be awake more than she was asleep, and her favorite thing to do while she is awake is to nurse. Being awake is exhausting enough but spending that time nursing is even more so. Don’t get me wrong – I know I am blessed with this sweet child and I tell myself very frequently what a blessing it is to have this little one to depend on me {I know I’ve mentioned it in previous posts and I hope I’m not tiring y’all out by saying it so often… I’m trying to ingrain it within me, ha!}.

But today was hard. I think perhaps both kids sort of fed off of my “I’m-too-tired-for-this” vibes, because both were giving me a run for my money. One would not let me put her down for anything – and like I said earlier, her favorite thing to do is nurse… and the other was acting out, which I assume is just something that comes along with him adjusting to not having all the attention on him anymore.

I told myself several times throughout the day that we are all adjusting to the new changes in our home life here. The dynamic is different. We’re learning more about each other as a new baby, as a mommy to a newborn and a preschooler, and a big brother who just a couple weeks ago was an only child.

Yes, I did wash my hair with body wash when I finally was able to get a shower today {at 5PM, by the way}.

I am pretty sure I’m losing my mind.

And there’s a possibility that tomorrow could be better… could be the same… or could be worse. Who knows?

Pray for us all as we continue to take on the ups and downs of adjusting!

However… I didn’t mention the sweet moments… they were there as well. I am hoping to do better at focusing more on those, instead of the moments that have me wanting to rip my hair out.

For now, both kids are asleep. Who knows how long that will last for the littlest one? I’m enjoying the quiet evening with my husband, making plans in my head for the coming day, knowing that I most likely won’t get to do half the things I want to do… but I can at least attempt them.

Here’s to adjusting… and for quiet evenings no matter how long they happen to last!

introducing Clara Grace, pt 2

You can read part 1 of Clara Grace’s birth story here.

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After all was deemed well with me after the c-section, they wheeled my bed out of the recovery room and I was then taken down to the room we’d be staying in for the duration of our hospital stay. Clara was in the nursery getting checked out and our families – well, partially – had gathered in the waiting room, anxious to meet Clara Grace but none so anxious as the big brother, who was dying to meet his sister!

This was the moment I’d been looking forward to the most, I think. I was anxious to see how Benjamin would react to his sister, anxious to see his face when he saw her, anxious to know what he thought of her. And, after spending the night without him and the morning in surgery, I just really wanted to see my big boy.

These precious moments I hope will stay with me forever. The way he looked at her, as in love with her as we were, how he told us that she was “so cuuute!”.

What a blessing to have both of my babies!! It’s moments like these that melt away all those hard times we faced during this pregnancy and during Benjamin’s delivery. It’s moments like these that make you say, yeah, that was tough… but in the end it is all worth it. It seems like I go through a lot to bring my babies into the world – not saying I have it worse than anyone else! – but when it comes down to it… these moments make everything more than worth it.

But nothing can top this moment… my family… my heart!

We were also really blessed to have friends who stopped by to share in our joy. Because this was something we didn’t experience when Benjamin was born, it meant a lot to us that people cared enough to come and celebrate Clara’s birth.

And not only in the hospital, but we have had people come by and visit with us this week and also bring us meals. We have been incredibly blessed by our church family here! I am so thankful!

As far as recovery has been going, I’ve been really pleased with it! I know that a lot of people have bad experiences when it comes to c-sections, but honestly I prefer this recovery over the recovery I endured after Benjamin… of course, this time I didn’t have to have a blood transfusion {I narrowly escaped that one… more on that later}, and nothing out of the ordinary happened. I can’t really feel my incision, and I’m getting around pretty normally most of the time. I’ve been staying on top of my pain medication and have been keeping everything clean. Really I can’t complain much about my recovery! So thankful!

As for the blood transfusion thing… unfortunately it was something that was talked about at one point in the hospital because my hemoglobin was low. I’m on iron pills instead, though. My doctor asked me if anyone had ever looked into testing me for Von Willebrand disease, and honestly when I looked it up I can see how I could perhaps have it. However, that’s something we’ll have to look into in the future, not now.

For now, we’re just enjoying our sweet new baby, in spite of the lack of sleep and re-figuring out the ins and outs of a newborn. I love to see my family together and so frequently find myself just watching as if watching some amazing dream… I am so blessed! Beyond measure!