Overprotective, or protective enough?

Do you know what phrase literally makes me cringe when I hear it? “Boys will be boys”. I hear it a lot and to some degree I do agree with it. Boys will be boys and should be allowed to be boys – to a point. A lot of the time when I hear this phrase it’s in reference to the fact that Benjamin is prone to getting himself hurt on different occasions as he plays. Small bumps and bruises are natural for him because he plays in such a way that he collects them, little by little, over time. Now, I don’t want anyone to go away from this thinking that Benjamin jumps off of our roof or off of tables or swings from the chandelier. He doesn’t. But he does often run and fall and collects his bruises that way.

But there is a point where ‘boys being boys’ does make me cringe, and I hope I’m not labeled as a ‘bad’ or ‘overprotective’ parent because of it. I know there are a lot of times ‘boys being boys’ refers to the fact that boys will beat up on each other. I don’t think wrestling around is bad, just in a playful manner, but I do think there is a line… and that line should be identified and more importantly enforced.

I recently went to a visitation where a collection of boys were beating the daylights out of each other in their ‘game of tag’. I mean, not a pat to say tag that might have been more of a ‘slap’ than a pat. They were literally beating each other. I was mortified. How could children think that that sort of behavior is acceptable in any situation, but especially at a funeral home? I stepped in and told them that they needed to stop (because their parents were not attending to them), because they were doing this in front of Benjamin and I did not want him going away from that thinking that it was an acceptable way to play with one another.

Boys can be boys … but any boy of mine must be respectful of those around him. I don’t want Benjamin to be a bully, I want him to be a gentleman, even now when he is two years old. I don’t want him to think that pushing and hitting are forms of play.

Is that overprotective of me? I’m asking this seriously. I have been told plenty of times that I can’t shelter Benjamin forever, and I certainly don’t want to be a helicopter mom, but Benjamin’s behavior at this point is my responsibility. It is going to shape much of his behavior later in life and I just don’t want to mess up early and have to fix mistakes later on.

I am honestly posting this for YOUR input. Please, mothers of boys or even mothers of girls, if you have any advice for me or input, please give it to me. I think daily about my responsibility as a parent and it so often overwhelms me and humbles me.

One day he’s going to leave my house,
and I just want him to go away faithful,
and I want him to respect and love others.

blessings

I am constantly reminded how blessed I am by having friends like you all! Thank you for all of your encouragement and kind words on my post yesterday. I really needed to get all of that out {although that's not even half of it, if you can imagine}. Yesterday was not a bad day, though I did have a few meltdowns, but that's okay. It's okay to have those days.

Thank you, all of my friends, for being so thoughtful and kind to me. I truly am blessed.

Today is a better day! We slept in til 9 today, and it still was not hot out when we went on our walk this morning! The weather has been so pleasant lately, and we have been really thankful for the break from the sweltering heat.

Yesterday Benjamin ended up getting a gigantic goose egg on his head from falling down the stairs head-first into the corner of the banister. We only have three steps on either side of our family room so we don't really think much of it. Any fall he takes is relatively short and not a big deal, but this time it was a big deal! Hubby was saying he bruised his eye but then I looked up and saw this SECOND HEAD growing out of his forehead, and I nearly passed out!! Of course he won't let us put ice on anything so it just swells up as big as it wants. I was very surprised that he didn't bust his head open, but I am thankful because that would have been a lot of blood, and I probably would have passed out for real.

Another thing Benjamin has been doing lately is fighting naps. He refuses to nap. He will sit in his crib and talk and yell but he will not for the life of him lay down and take a nap. Usually though in the afternoon we will force him to take a nap because really, an un-napped baby can sometimes get a little too cranky. This happened yesterday, and Benjamin had already had a rough day! I got him up from his nap around 6 and took him outside. He was still cranky. But I got a few pictures of him since I haven't really been taking any lately {and I know that's why you all come here in the first place ha!}


You can still see the tears under his eye from where he threw a fit when I put his shirt on him... Mr. Grumpy Diaper.


But he's cute when he's grumpy, don't you think? Of course, sometimes his attitude is really not cute and he gets in trouble for that. But really, don't you love his little self?


You're about to see one of the reasons the child has a new lump on his head every week. I'm going to start calling him Lumpy. It's appropriate.


It's because we let him do things like this. He loves to climb. He loves to have his own adventures. And we encourage him to learn and explore. Unfortunately with that comes a lot of accidents. Can you tell that we are very laid-back in our parenting? One thing we are not laid-back in is discipline though. I think Benjamin can confirm that one. ha!

Anyway, moving on...

today's 30 Days of Music category is:

day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone

This was a hard one to choose because there are so many that do remind me of someone. I finally decided on this one:

The Fox - Nicklecreek

It reminds me of two people actually. The story behind it explains both so I'll just tell you that.

Two MSOP Lectures ago we stayed with our friends Autumn & Matt and their baby Alethia. Autumn and I were going to a store and well Benjamin was not enjoying his carseat. Suddenly Autumn decided to play this particular song, and immediately Benjamin stopped crying. We thought, oh he wanted to hear music! But the next song came on and he started crying again! We played this one over, and he stopped!

And from then on, and I think even now {we haven't tried in a while} he will stop crying when he hears this song! So this song reminds me of my son, and it also reminds me of my Kindred Spirit, Autumn, whom I love and adore. I could go on and on about Autumn, but instead, I'll go ahead and give you the video.

Clean

Happy Friday!

Today has been a busy day for me so far. Right now Mariah is napping. Benjamin was in his crib earlier until I started hearing delighted squeals and raspberries coming from his room, so I retrieved him {so he wouldn't wake up Mariah}. Now he is sitting here at the table with me eating his fruit snacks and ritz crackers. Me, I'm eating a Special K protein bar, which doesn't taste too bad, to be honest. I'm also thinking about the Daily Scripture.

Did you see it?

“And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” - Deuteronomy 6:6-7

One of the reasons I added the daily verse was not only to share a verse a day with my friends, but because they are often thought-provoking for me. I like to take the verse and meditate on it throughout the day. On days where I do this, my day always seems brighter.

I love that verse, Deuteronomy 6:6-7. It puts in perspective the real, true responsibility we parents have. There are so many parents who make the biggest fuss over the littlest things, like having the perfect appearance, having nice cars, having a pristine home, doing exciting, fun things all the time. I'm not saying any of those are sin - but sometimes we prioritize and forget what should be at the top of the list: God.

Benjamin loves his Bible Class. Whenever we go to church, he always runs into his classroom before we've even started, before anyone even gets to the building. He loves to see my Bible and to turn the pages. He is all smiles when we sing his favorite Bible class songs. He loves to look through his animals and hear about creation.

I love that he loves Bible class. There are some days when he is a bit too cranky to really love anything, but usually Bible class is very fun and exciting.

But, Bible class will not be the main source of Bible learning. There are so many teachable moments throughout the day, and I need to make it a priority to take advantage of this. I can spend all day cleaning and doing laundry and organizing, or I can spend the majority of my time teaching my son about God and the Bible and Jesus and the Church. I did this for a while yesterday when Benjamin and I were in his playing with his toys. We listened to his Bible Song CD, and Benjamin enjoyed it.

This is something that is always on my mind. I was fortunate enough to have been taught from a young age to love God and the Bible, and I want the same for Benjamin. I might go a day without folding a piece of laundry or picking up the living room, but as long as I don't go a day without teaching my son, I'm perfectly okay with this.

Clean or not clean, my house isn't going to last through eternity, but Benjamin's soul will - and whether or not his heart is clean in the end is what matters.

Confessions

Okay, I confess.

I am not perfect.

I know, it is hard to believe. I know you all think (regardless of the sock issue) that I am a perfect mother. I know you're all wondering how such a young mother could be so absolutely perfect - and besides that, a perfect wife, daughter, friend, sister...

Maybe not. But I'm going to come out and say it: I am not perfect.

Guess what? No mother is. No mother is going to be. No mother ever has been. And you know what? Instead of stressing out over that fact, it comforts me. If I make a mistake, I am pretty sure I'm not the first one to ever make that mistake. Learn and move on, right?

Another confession is that I am a really laid back type of mother. I don't know if you read that one post about letting Ben crawl at the church building, but I am clearly not the kind of mommy who freaks out about icky germs. I also don't give into all sorts of hype about things like walkers being unsafe because I believe anything can be unsafe without the proper supervision. We don't own a walker, no. But Benjamin does sit in one during Bible class, and you would never be able to tell but he actually moves around in it (a lot - sometimes I wish I could pop those wheels off so he'd stay still) - and would you believe that he's not developing crooked legs or oddly shaped torso or ... whatever it is those folks are freaking out about?

I'm not saying every mother has to be like me! I really am not! This is just my parenting style. You know everyone loves to give advice and stuff? And sometimes it makes us feel bad about the way we do things? Well please don't take this like that at all. I am just saying what we're like over here in our pond (it has been RAINING ALL DAY!).

Anyway ... another thing:


From September

Benjamin eats hot dogs on occasion. He also eats animal crackers. He's had an M&M or two. He's had bits of a cookie. He drinks juice. He's also not overweight, won't take formula if it's the last thing on earth, super healthy (except that one time when he got sick a couple weeks ago - and then back in April), extremely happy, excessively active, heartbreakingly adorable... you know, all that good stuff. And I do get it - healthy habits start early. But I also believe a lot of our unhealthy habits stem from portion control and moderation. Ben will maybe eat a hot dog every other week, if even that. I'm pretty sure I had hot dogs when I was a toddler, and so far, so good.

I guess I'm just not an up-tight mommy. I let Benjamin cry it out when he was 3 months old. He screamed for 45 minutes one night and after that he has gone down really, really well ever since. I think a lot of us mommies stress out over stuff that is just so trivial. If we could all just take a breath, and maybe loosen up (not toooo much!), we can enjoy our time with our children a little better.

Oh yeah, and Benjamin watches Winnie the Pooh nearly every morning while he eats breakfast, and sometimes watches Blues Clues or Pokoyo. I don't have an X-Ray or anything but I'm pretty sure his brain is not turning to mush.

Again, though, this is just the way we do it around here. No offense meant to anyone who does it differently. Just something that is on my mind tonight!

Hope you all had a fantastic weekend! If you're like me - your feet are freezing but your heart is warm!