four.

Dear Benjamin,

Today you turn four years old. You’ve been talking about your birthday for the past two months now, asking if it’s January yet and finally realizing that the whole month isn’t your birthday. I can’t believe how big you have grown and how much older you seem even day by day. Time is really flying by and I can’t help but to think it’s all bittersweet and wonder if it always will be.

You have grown into a very sweet little boy. I sometimes marvel at the compassion that you show others, and how caring and kind you are to people even if you don’t really know them. You are one of the friendliest little boys I’ve ever known, and I get so tickled at the way you can strike up a conversation with just about anyone anywhere we happen to go, no matter if they completely follow your train of thought.

Benjamin, please don’t ever stop telling me that I’m your best girl… at least not until you have a wife of your own to tell that to. You will never know how much that warms my heart. You will never know how much your random hugs and kisses mean to me and how much I cherish the time that we get to snuggle in mommy’s bed.

Although you have had a rough couple of months here lately with your asthma, you always seem to take everything in stride and even when you’re exhausted and hurting from shots or IV’s, you always keep a pretty decent attitude about you, as decent as one can expect from a little guy like you. You’re cheerful by nature, even if you have your bad moments. You always seem to know how to make the best of your bad situations and I think your creativity helps you in that.

You are just so very creative and imaginative. I love your love for books and for pretending. You are a clever boy and your vocabulary and understanding amazes me sometimes. I love that you have a thirst for knowledge and finding things out, never short of any question, always wondering how to spell words and things like that. Don’t ever lose your thirst for knowledge, Benjamin.

I appreciate your desire to be helpful as much as possible. I love when you ask to help me vacuum, even though it extends the chore to at least twice the amount of time it would take. I don’t mind it one bit. I do have to remind myself sometimes to let you help even when I know I want something done quickly and efficiently, because you’re learning to someday be a helpful husband to a very lucky wife.

In a couple of months you are going to be taking on a brand new role as a big brother to your baby sister. I cannot wait to see how you fill this role because I know you will be amazing at it. I know that you are going to be so helpful because you already are, telling me that you are going to take care of me. You already love your sister so very much and I know that she will love you just the same. She is going to look up to you as she grows up and I really can’t think of a better role model for her to have as a big brother than you. I hope that you will always look out for her.

Benjamin, my prayer for you most of all is that you continue to love God with all of your heart and that you do your very best to act the way He would want you to, not out of obligation but because you want to. I want you to learn how to love your neighbors as yourself. I want you to learn how to be a gentle person, a peacemaker. I want you to always remember that we don’t live alone on this planet and that we should love people just as God does. Above everything else, never stop loving. It’s the most important thing you can do for others.

I wish you the happiest of birthdays, Benjamin. I love you, forever and always. I am so proud of you.

Love always,
Mommy