my thoughts, on different matters

Two more days. This countdown went by ultra fast, don't you think? I can hardly believe that on Friday we will finally, FINALLY be out of Winder. You never do expect to move back home after being away for nearly a year and being married... and then things happen and you have no other choice. It really hasn't been all that bad. It feels like we've been here about a year, but we've only been here since the end of June. About 4 1/2 months. It feels like time has gone by so slowly, and yet it's whizzed past.

At our last Dr. appointment (I know I didn't give a lot of detail when I updated that day), Dr. Lowe asked us to rate our marriage from 1-10. I wonder how many other couples he asks that question, and how many others unanimously rate theirs at a 10. Honestly, I mean. Why do I rate our marriage a 10? Well because we're perfect, of course! Not really. We're definitely not perfect. We definitely have a lot to learn still. A lot of growing to do. But I think what makes ours a 10 is the fact that we are willing to grow and willing to learn, and to be patient doing so. Sacrifice. Honesty. Unconditional love. And so much more - we're willing to put it all into it. Why? Because when we said our vows, we meant them. Because we know our responsibilities and roles, biblically, in this marriage. I'll say it for those who aren't married - it isn't easy! Don't expect it to be! Expect it to be the opposite, and then get ready to work at it!

And it's so worth it. Every minute of it.

I can't wait until Benjamin joins our family. Well, he already has joined it, because he's here already... just not out in the open yet for everyone to hold and see. I'm so excited. If tomorrow was January 14th, I would be THRILLED. It won't be too much longer! I feel ready for everything, and then again I feel so anxious. Can I be a good mother? I know I can, but will I? I know I will, but how? And how long will it take to get the hang of it?

I told my dad what I wanted to do for my birthday dinner (they're taking us out since we'll have moved by my birthday, which is Sunday), and he told me I was breaking tradition because I had suggested we'd eat, and come back home to play card games or Apples to Apples, and usually we just go out to eat and don't enjoy each other's company. I shrugged and told him, "It's what I do." And it certainly is. Married at 18, pregnant at 19, and when I'm 20, I'll be the mother to a sweet baby boy. There are people my age who would say "I have too much life to live yet and to learn to have a family". But that's just it for me. This is what I want for my life. I want to be a wife and a mother. So why get started so early? ... Why should I wait?

Anyway, I feel like going outside with the camera... probably for the last time being here. Oh! I'm 29 weeks today! 11 to go! Closing in on the finish line!

- Kkens