Last night was rough. Right now I am sitting in my parents' bonus room, listening to Carl playing guitar, and wrapping my head around the past night, and the nights that lie ahead. Have you ever been in a sort of place in your life where you're so content, and you feel like everything is just happening so well, and wow you can't believe all the great things that are waiting ahead for you? And then the next moment you find yourself sobbing for hours? Perhaps not, but let me explain.
I had a craving for cheese pizza last night. Ohkay we'll stop there and let me say this: this is not a pregnancy sob story, though pregnancy may also contribute to the hours of sobbing. Carl went out to get me a personal pan cheese pizza, because he's super sweet and is so wonderful to me. Well, I played games on my iPod for a while, and then just laid back to get a small nap... and when Carl came back, he put the pizza on the bed and said, "We need to start packing our stuff. We have to be out by Saturday."
If you recall in my last post I said we were hoping to get into the house the first weekend of December. Well, that was the plan. Saturday we had seen the inside of the house and then went to find paint for the walls so we could get it painted and aired out before I have to sleep in the house. But that's not this coming Saturday. That's 2 Saturdays away. We had till this Saturday, the one after Thanksgiving, to get out of the house we were staying in.
I won't give the details. I don't think it's necessary. But, try to put yourself in our shoes... with everything except a few essentials in storage 2 hours away, and a house that might not be ready to move into, at least to our standards (as clean as it can be and painted up, at least so I don't have to sleep in a cloud of paint fumes).
I sobbed, like I said, for hours it seemed. It could have been less, I don't know. I was mad, confused, stressed, worried... what would we do? Where would we go?
I prayed about it and calmed down. And then I called my parents. So we figured I'd stay up here in Winder for a few days. We were planning on going to Rome to spend Thanksgiving with the Kidwells/McBrayers anyway, so Carl's going to go back down to Fort Valley to paint our house (while living off an air mattress, the poor thing), and then he'll be back Wednesday night after services. We'll leave Thursday to go to Rome, come back Friday and rent a U-Haul, and start packing that up. Saturday we'll drive back to Fort Valley.
I guess the reason I asked if he'd take me to Winder to spend time with my family is because I felt a little betrayed. I guess I might still feel that way. But knowing we've been "evicted" for less than a good reason (in our mind) without much notice, I just couldn't stay. Does that sound bad? I guess I also just needed to see my parents, have back a little bit of that stability, that dependableness. The feeling that I'm not going to have the rug yanked out from underneath me. I mean, we have signed the lease, that house is ours now. It ain't going nowhere. It just needs paint and I can't sleep in a freshly painted bedroom. It's safer if Carl does that and I stay away for a bit. I suppose a lot of things factor into my reasoning.
I'm happy. I'm a bit burned, and it's still something that's been hard to swallow and digest, but I'm happy. Strange to say, huh? But I am taken care of.
I'm going to cry my eyes out again tonight when Carl reads the story to Benjamin. We might have to do that over the phone. I just don't like being separated from Carl for very long. I'm going to have to brag a bit and tell you that Carl has been so good to me. He takes care of me like I'm supposed to. He's so involved with the pregnancy. He reads up on my symptoms and asks what he can do to help when I have a complaint. He's just been real good to me. I am so blessed. I have a lot to be thankful for. :)
I hope you all have a safe and happy Thanksgiving!
Love,
Kristen
PS - Pictures later. :)
