blessed & thankful & settling in

So, a week has passed and we are settling in quite well, finally! Clara Grace had a hard time for a few days, not wanting me to leave her at all, and not going down for naps or at bedtime very easily, but I think she is finally getting used to her new surroundings.

In this short week that we have been here, we have already been to Wal-Mart like a million times, saved money by shopping at Kroger, established a new Friday tradition {library – lunch – thrifting}, gotten library cards, met {and loved!} our new pediatrician {because Benjamin needed to go}, been to 1 area wide singing {loved it!}, and did I mention we’ve been to Wal-Mart a million times? ha!

Clara has also gotten sick during this time but I am hoping that she will soon be on the mend… and if not, we’ll be headed back to our new pediatrician to get her well! I certainly do not want to spend Thanksgiving at home with her while everyone else eats turkey!

Benjamin and Clara are sharing a room and so far things are going pretty well with that. Somehow Benjamin doesn’t wake up at night when she is crying which amazes me. Here’s there little setup:

 

So, not too shabby.

As for me… well as soon as Clara started getting more used to the whole thing, I started feeling less stressed and that’s been wonderful. It’s not so bad being in this little apartment… especially knowing we will only be here for a short time.

And as for the place we are… we are blessed and we are thankful.

perhaps the acknowledgements before our next chapter?

Wow... I can't believe that we are moving tomorrow and we'll be starting our new work! I'm nervous and excited! Please keep us in your prayers as we start this new work.

I also want to just say this... I have been blown away not once, not twice, but three times in the past 6 years with my parents' generosity and hospitality and love and care as they have allowed us to stay with them during our transition periods. When Carl and I learned that he had been fired, I called my parents in tears, panicking, sobbing, because I was so scared and uncertain and okay I was pretty much just in freak-out mode. I was hurt and sad and so, so terrified. I was flipping out because we had to be out in three weeks, and that gives no time at all to find a new job and to figure out where we were going.

But my dad told me that night, “Please plan on being here in a few weeks.” – pretty much telling me to stop worrying, that we would be staying with them.

And let me also note that they have also extended their home to my brother and his wife in this time as they are in a transitional period as well. So that means, when we moved in, there were EIGHT people living under one roof.

I am blown away.

And really all I can think right now is that I want to be just like them. I want to take care of people when they need it. I want to extend love and hospitality and care.

My parents are so incredible, so Christ-like, godly, amazing… I could go on. I could, for pages and pages. I am so blessed and humbled and so, so, SO grateful.

Please continue to pray for my family as we continue on this adventure, this new journey. We covet your prayers and your friendship and support more than you know!

starting a new chapter.

I’m somewhat of a control freak, if I were to be totally honest with you about it. Not that I just like to control everything and everyone, but I like to have order in my life and know what is going to happen days in advance. I know that I need to be more flexible and I believe {read: hope} that I’m getting better at this… I’ve learned that I can’t control every situation and it’s a hard lesson to learn, but I’m learning it.

A lot of things have happened in the last few months that have turned me on my head, and I’m sure you all know this. At the spur of a moment, we agreed to foster a little girl, and while that only lasted a week and a half it really did turn my world upside down in regards to … well, perspective.

And then shortly thereafter, or actually during all of this, Carl lost his job and we were uprooted completely. I have anxiety about moving, so this just threw me completely. Having bills to pay and no job is stressful. Having to move back in with my parents, although I am SO THANKFUL for them, is stressful.

However… it’s not the first time we’ve had to do this. All those details were nothing new. But this time, we were leaving behind so many amazing friends, and people that we have grown to love so dearly. That has been the hardest of all.

Last time we were in this situation, it took almost 5 months to find a new job. But, I’m happy to say that 6 weeks after the fact, we know where we are going and we are so excited to be moving next weekend.

Excited, and also… really scared. Well, I am, anyway.

Because starting over somewhere new is kinda scary for me.

Deep breath. We’re about to start the next chapter of our ADVENTURE story!

Running Toward God

Up until tonight, I have had a hard time dealing with bitterness and anger concerning the situation we’ve been having to deal with for the last two and a half weeks. I have been confused about why this has happened to my family, why God would allow us to face such uncertainty when we have a baby and a 4-year-old to provide for. Who are we to have to leave our home, our friends, our community?

But who am I to think that I should be exempt from any hardships? Who am I to think that my family shouldn’t have to face uncertainties? I am nothing, I am no better than anyone else.

But my God is everything. my God is powerful, my God cares and has told me that He WILL provide (Matthew 6:25-33).

Sometimes we are put in trials and the only thing we can really do is to run toward God. Maybe that is the lesson I’m supposed to take from this, or at least one of them. To run toward God.

The name of the Lord is a strong tower;
the righteous man runs into it and is safe.
Proverbs 18:10

So, up until tonight, I struggled with anger and “why me” and bitterness… but now, how can I be angry? I’m running toward God and what really could be wrong with running toward God? So maybe I should rejoice instead. I’m sad for the friends we are leaving behind. It makes me so incredibly sad to think about  that. But at the same time, I’m rejoicing, because I’m running toward God, and I know He will take care of us. Because He always has.

life… right now.

I am sure that word has gotten around, especially after Carl announced it on Facebook, that we are now in the market for another preaching job and with that of course comes a new home, new community, new friends… you know, a new life basically. Yes, Carl was “relieved of his duties” {that’s a nice way to put it, so we’ll go with that} last Sunday night. No, I really don’t want to go into details … although some of you know already. It came as a total shock and not one of those welcome kind. At the time, we still had O with us and planned on keeping her as long as DHR allowed us to {although we were very certain that wouldn’t be long at all…}.

So to find out, out of the blue, that we were jobless on Sunday night was like having the rug pulled out from underneath us {again}. Obviously by my saying “again” we know that it isn’t the first time that this has happened… although last time it happened, it was a sort of snowball that finally reached us… this time it truly was like a rug being yanked and the first half of this week I felt like I couldn’t pull myself off of the floor.

But you know what? You have to. That’s just life. And unfortunately this kind of thing, this sudden termination, isn’t always unknown in the ministry life, as it were. Unfortunately it happens all the time. Unfortunately we have a lot of preaching friends who can commiserate with us. But, fortunately, a lot of them have assured us that things will work out, that we will get back up again, that we will find somewhere else, and we will be taken care of.

We have a time crunch, though. We were given three weeks. While Carl is searching for a new job and contacting different congregations, I’ve been working hard to  get the house packed up. It’s so hard when I have a six month old and a four year old as well… Good thing I’m an insanely fast packer! At least it does well enough to keep my mind off of things.

I know that things will work out. I want to be real with you, though. It has been really difficult for me to not be bitter and angry about this. I don’t  think it’s right and I don’t think it’s fair, but that’s just how it is sometimes. There is nothing I can do about it, except not let it slow me down too much. And I say “too much” because it does slow me down. I have moments where I am fed up with packing, and fed up with why I’m packing, and wish I could somehow change things.

But I can’t.

I wish I could be like Benjamin and just be excited about a new adventure. Ignorance really is bliss because he is oblivious to the stress that comes along with all of this. He doesn’t know that finding a preaching job sometimes takes a really, really long time. We’ll probably end up living with my parents {again, again} for a little while as we search for our next home. All Benjamin will know is that he gets to spend more time with people who love him, and that’s awesome. He’s excited to be able to meet new people and make new friends and I am so thankful for my upbeat little guy who gives me a new perspective each and every day.

So, yeah. We don’t have a job, and we will soon be leaving this home… and I don’t know where we’ll end up, and that’s scary and terrifying and exciting. And that’s life and life’s good most of the time so I guess what I’m trying to say is

we will be okay.

matthew 6:33 – seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things will be given unto you

We made it!

I just wanted to check in and tell you all that we have moved and we have made it! I am so glad to be done with the packing and cleaning and moving! While the future is unknown for us and uncertain, we are still optimistic and I feel more relaxed now than I have in a few weeks! This is where our next chapter begins!



I will hopefully be able to blog more now that the move is done with. Starting with Benjamin's 20 Month Post! Time sure is flying!

Take care, y'all! Have a blessed Lord's Day!

Come on, Vamanos!

We had a party today for Benjamin {and us} since we are leaving next week. It was Dora-themed, and we called it our "Vamanos!" party {Let's Go!}. It was a lot of fun!




{Benny helped on that one heehee}




{My WONDERFUL, HANDSOME, LOVING, SWEET husband did the streamers! I Love them so much I haven't taken them down! hehe!}


{You know, just in case Swiper showed. Though Benjamin did a good job swiping a few plates off......}



{Juice and Choco Milk for the kiddos}


{Making sure all his favorite toys are there to share with his friends}



{Mariah, Ben, and Ella}

I honestly did not get as many pictures as I should have, being the good-bye party... but we were having a great time conversing and watching the kids play. These pictures certainly don't show all of the guests that came {And THANK YOU to those who did - it meant the world to us, seriously!!!}. Benjamin's friends Landon and Brysen also came and played for a while.

We are really going to miss our friends here and it really does break my heart that we are having to leave behind so many of our friends, and also Benjamin's friends. I can't really explain how I feel about that. I know it's not going to end his world because he is too young to understand this stuff, but I know how much he loves his friends. I just hope that wherever we end up, Benjamin can have friends even HALF as wonderful as the ones he has here. {I'm tearing up, y'all!}

To the mothers and fathers of Landon & Brysen, Mariah, and Ella... we truly are going to miss you and your sweet darling children. I mean that so sincerely!

Isn't God so wonderful for blessing us with relationships?

Well now that I have thoroughly bummed myself out... in a ... good? way.....

1 week till moving day.

Bring.

It.

On.

flying by!

Has it really been a week? I really can't believe it. This past week has flown by and I can't believe we are nearly two weeks into September already. To catch you all up to speed, we should be moving out in ten days. Or less than. So we have been so very, very busy packing and moving stuff into storage.



We've been playing pretty hard too. Benjamin asks all day long to go play outside with the chalk. I feel really bad for not being able to do that as much as I would like to and certainly not as much as he would like to, but I am sure if he was older, he would be able to understand better. He has been having fun though. He likes to climb all over the boxes and play with the different odd things we find.



Ten days y'all. New adventure, that's what I keep telling myself. And it's true. It's just kind of scary to not know how long we're going to be there.



Life is good, though. God is good, always. Things are going to work out, and this world is not my home anyway.

what I am vs. what I am not

It's time for me to be honest.

That's not to say that I've been dishonest. I haven't been. Well, not with you. I may have been dishonest with myself, but I'm happy to say that I have cleared the air with myself. And now I want to make sure you all know something about me.

I know a lot of people out there have been commenting on how well I have been doing with what has been going on. I know a lot of people have been impressed with my attitude and have commended me for it. But I just want you to know something. I'm not always so optimistic. I have more ups than downs, that's for sure, but my downs are way down there. I mean, waaaay down there.

I have had moments where I have been overcome with worry so much that I have broken down in tears. I have had moments where I have been so angry that this is happening and about the way that it has happened! I have had moments where I would think, "Why us, of all people?!" I have been so overwhelmed by the amount of cardboard boxes and stuff to pack that I have felt like throwing my hands up and throwing in the towel. I've felt like venting, like blogging, like writing a letter to whom it may concern. I've felt like screaming and crying and secluding and giving up.

It's times like these that I mostly find myself in prayer. It's times like these that I remind myself of one of Carl's sermons called "What to do when life isn't fair", most importantly step one of such process: Lose Your Pride. "Who am I to be above suffering?"

There it is, Kristen, you've been prideful. You've been prideful and you need to get over yourself.

I am not above suffering. I am not "so good" that I shouldn't have to endure hardships or trials. I'm not "so independent" that I should feel bad when I have no choice but to take someone up on their offer of help. I have been kicking myself and kicking myself for having to most likely go live with my parents. I have been telling myself what a burden we will be and who knows how long we'll be there to burden them!?

And yet never have my parents ever acted in such a way that I should have ever thought that it would be a burden to them for us to stay a spell with them.

It's just my pride, and I've got to lose it.

Who am I to be above suffering?

I am not.

but I am okay.

What's the plan, Stan?

Good question! So what is the plan, exactly? No job = limited money = we can't continue paying rent out... so that means we are moving out! We have to do this regardless of whether or not we have a job {but it would be so nice to have a place to go permanently when we move - we are still praying!} - and we have to do this before September 23rd. That's five weeks. Five.

If it happens that we don't have a job, where are we going? Well, we're heading back to my parents'. I really hate to have to do it - not because I don't want to, but because we lived with them before we got the job down here and I just feel like we are going to be a burden again - not that they said we were before. I just don't want to be a burden, you know?

Anyway, my parents are great and are so helpful and wouldn't mind our company! I love them!

So, this week the plan is go through the closets and throw away the junk we don't want to pay to store. You know, the stuff we haven't even looked at for such a long time we barely remember that we own it. That stuff. It's got to go. This is like mega Spring cleaning, a few months late.

I know it will be hard to get motivated because packing is something I hate to do and moving is even worse.

But, we only have five weeks. Actually, less than five, because we aren't staying through to the 23rd if at all possible.

What's Ben's plan during all this? Easy.

Plan A: Be absolutely adorable.


Plan B: Stick your face in ketchup.


Check and check!

Have a great week, everyone!

PS - I am SO thankful for all the support we have been getting from friends all over! You all are so wonderful; thank you so much!! And thank you mostly for the prayers! They mean so much to us!

our new digs.

We are excited about our new house. I was a little disappointed that the previous tenants didn't take care of the place like they should have. There are quite a few touch-ups that have been done, and still need to be done. What I'm excited about, though, is the paint job. So, in this post I will give you first the before pictures of the house, and then what pictures I have of the "during stages" of the process of making this house our home. Yay for paint on the walls!

This would be in the living room, me and Mrs. Jacks talking about what we thought would be nice. The Jacks' came along to check out the house and give insight on what needed to be done. Oh, and the kitchen is behind us.

Master bathroom, which is actually the smallest room in the house besides like... a closet or something. Don't worry, the border was ripped down.

The toilet seat will be replaced. I don't do puffy toilet seats. They freak me out.

In the master bedroom. Yeah unfortunately those aren't shadows on the carpet. Those are stains. Previous tenants were nasty tar-lungs. Aka. Smokers.

Closet in the master bedroom.

Oh, we're back to the living room in this one.

Living room, with the fire place. And the blue lightswitch cover will be replaced...

Laundry room, aka Davey's winter home. For those of you who do not know, Davey is my rabbit.

Laundry room looking into the kitchen, the kitchen being where you see me and Mrs. Jacks standing.

Guest bedroom, which was pretty spacious!

Guest bedroom again. And yeah, I don't know why the carpet changes colors throughout.

Guest bathroom, which is decent sized. And not our shower curtain. :/

Guest bathroom toilet. I hope that blue isn't stained. :/

Gues bathroom again. This will be our UGA bathroom.

The dining room, and yet another shade of carpet.

Benjy's bedroom

the Bonus room, which used to be a garage. REALLY spacious.

The other side of the bonus room.

In the dining room, looking into the room that we're going to turn into Carl's office.

In the office, looking into the dining room.

And we're back to Benjamin's room. Through the door you can see the door to the master bedroom.


And NOW for the touch-ups!!

The master bedroom. I love the green. It's going to look amazing with our comforter.

The hallway/entrance way. Obviously this is not finished yet. Carl said it is like an adobe color. I like it!

The dining room. Carl chose the blue. It turned out brighter than we both expected (I guess - I haven't seen it in person yet), but we both really like it, especially with the dark wood accents.

The office is the same color as the dining room. Blue is supposed to be a calming color and all that. Again, it turned out brighter than expected, but I really do like the way it looks with the dark accents. Besides, if you know me, you know I am more of a bright-color person than a muted color person. I mean... my room growing up was lime green. Seriously!

And that's all for now, folks! I assume I will get more pictures before the day is over, and then as soon as we get internet down there, I will give you the rest of the photos, plus photos of the finished rooms with the stuff in it. Hopefully it won't take too terribly long to unbox our stuff. We shall see!

Hope you all have a safe thanksgiving tomorrow! If you're traveling, buckle up, it's the law! ;D

Love,

Kristen

there goes the rug...

Last night was rough. Right now I am sitting in my parents' bonus room, listening to Carl playing guitar, and wrapping my head around the past night, and the nights that lie ahead. Have you ever been in a sort of place in your life where you're so content, and you feel like everything is just happening so well, and wow you can't believe all the great things that are waiting ahead for you? And then the next moment you find yourself sobbing for hours? Perhaps not, but let me explain.

I had a craving for cheese pizza last night. Ohkay we'll stop there and let me say this: this is not a pregnancy sob story, though pregnancy may also contribute to the hours of sobbing. Carl went out to get me a personal pan cheese pizza, because he's super sweet and is so wonderful to me. Well, I played games on my iPod for a while, and then just laid back to get a small nap... and when Carl came back, he put the pizza on the bed and said, "We need to start packing our stuff. We have to be out by Saturday."

If you recall in my last post I said we were hoping to get into the house the first weekend of December. Well, that was the plan. Saturday we had seen the inside of the house and then went to find paint for the walls so we could get it painted and aired out before I have to sleep in the house. But that's not this coming Saturday. That's 2 Saturdays away. We had till this Saturday, the one after Thanksgiving, to get out of the house we were staying in.

I won't give the details. I don't think it's necessary. But, try to put yourself in our shoes... with everything except a few essentials in storage 2 hours away, and a house that might not be ready to move into, at least to our standards (as clean as it can be and painted up, at least so I don't have to sleep in a cloud of paint fumes).

I sobbed, like I said, for hours it seemed. It could have been less, I don't know. I was mad, confused, stressed, worried... what would we do? Where would we go?

I prayed about it and calmed down. And then I called my parents. So we figured I'd stay up here in Winder for a few days. We were planning on going to Rome to spend Thanksgiving with the Kidwells/McBrayers anyway, so Carl's going to go back down to Fort Valley to paint our house (while living off an air mattress, the poor thing), and then he'll be back Wednesday night after services. We'll leave Thursday to go to Rome, come back Friday and rent a U-Haul, and start packing that up. Saturday we'll drive back to Fort Valley.

I guess the reason I asked if he'd take me to Winder to spend time with my family is because I felt a little betrayed. I guess I might still feel that way. But knowing we've been "evicted" for less than a good reason (in our mind) without much notice, I just couldn't stay. Does that sound bad? I guess I also just needed to see my parents, have back a little bit of that stability, that dependableness. The feeling that I'm not going to have the rug yanked out from underneath me. I mean, we have signed the lease, that house is ours now. It ain't going nowhere. It just needs paint and I can't sleep in a freshly painted bedroom. It's safer if Carl does that and I stay away for a bit. I suppose a lot of things factor into my reasoning.

I'm happy. I'm a bit burned, and it's still something that's been hard to swallow and digest, but I'm happy. Strange to say, huh? But I am taken care of.

I'm going to cry my eyes out again tonight when Carl reads the story to Benjamin. We might have to do that over the phone. I just don't like being separated from Carl for very long. I'm going to have to brag a bit and tell you that Carl has been so good to me. He takes care of me like I'm supposed to. He's so involved with the pregnancy. He reads up on my symptoms and asks what he can do to help when I have a complaint. He's just been real good to me. I am so blessed. I have a lot to be thankful for. :)

I hope you all have a safe and happy Thanksgiving!

Love,
Kristen

PS - Pictures later. :)

oh, hi!

I'm sorry for lack of update - we don't have the internet where we are staying and have to go to the library to get online for now. It's limited in time, so I sometimes forget about updating here.

The move went as well as it could I guess. We're staying with one of the older ladies at the congregation until we can get our own place. No cable TV, no internet, and no shower (yes, just a bathtub... definitely not fun hoisting my ginormous body out of), but we're dealing. We get to look at goats.... and yes, it is as fun as it sounds. :) But the good news is, we have a house lined up to move into hopefully the first weekend of December! We're being patient and optimistic.

Benjamin continues to grow and kick and punch. He's gotten into scraping across my belly with something sharp, and sometimes sticking a sharp elbow or knee straight up so you can see it poking up a half an inch! haha. it's... somewhat painful actually. But only 7 weeks left! Can you believe it? We had our first doc's appointment this past Monday and I really like the place. and the people. My next one is Dec. 1st, and we'll have an ultrasound to check on my placenta. Don't know if we'll get pictures or not. We'll see!

Anyway, that's all I have for now. Hope everyone is staying warm. :)

Love,
Kristen