Perhaps it’s because we have gotten down to the wire here in the last two weeks of the pregnancy {if you want to be technical, two weeks and two days}. Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten to the point where I just can’t do what I used to be able to do, whether because I’m too big in the tummy, too tired, or my super un-fun symptoms keep me from doing it… and that to me is frustrating. Maybe it’s because of the insomnia or maybe it’s just part of the last couple weeks in general, but it feels like time is slowing down for me.
Granted, I don’t want it to speed up, not really. Sure, it’d be nice to get rid of these symptoms. It’d be nice not to have feet jamming up into my ribs, or having to haul a giant belly around, or from side to side if I get uncomfortable in bed. It’d be nice to not have to visit the bathroom so often because a little miss is pushing on my bladder. It’d be nice to not be out of breath doing normal, every day, mundane tasks.
It’d also be nice to hold my sweet baby in my arms and be able to look at her face, instead of just wondering what she looks like while she kicks and thrashes in my belly. It’d be nice to see all this hard work {growing a baby IS hard work} paid off with a precious bundle of joy. I ‘m anxious to see Benjamin’s reaction to his baby sister and see how we all mold together as a family of four instead of a family of three.
But even though I’m anxious to be done with the whole process, and anxious to have baby C in my arms, I don’t really want things to speed up. These last few weeks are so crucial in development. With Benjamin, I went five days over my due date before being induced {and if I knew then what I know now, I would never have agreed to being induced even then, when there was no real medical necessity}. I know now how important it is to let the baby grow as long as possible. I don’t want her to be here earlier than necessary. I don’t want her to be out at 37 weeks, or 38 weeks. 39 weeks is already pushing it for my comfort levels, but for the health of me and the baby, it’s just necessary that they do the c-section at 39 weeks instead of possibly risking me going into labor on my own {fingers crossed that doesn’t happen!!}.
No, I don’t want her early… but it sure would be nice if time would cooperate with me and speed up just a tad, instead of this ‘slowing down’ business. Although everything slowing down has allowed me to spend more time with my Benjamin… something I wouldn’t trade for the world because he won’t be little for too much longer, and soon there will be another little person here fighting for attention.
I’m thankful to God for these precious two weeks before the baby comes… for this time to be able to slow down a bit and spend time with my little boy. I wouldn’t trade these sweet moments for the world.
