Love.

1 Corinthians 16:14:

{via pinterest}

 

Growing up, my brother and I were blessed with two godly, caring parents who taught us to the best of their abilities about what it meant to be a follower of Christ and how important it was to put God first in our lives. There is one thing that has always stuck with me that my dad said over and over, at home and in classes that he has taught. It’s something that will stay with me forever and it’s something that I pray I will be able to impress on Benjamin as he grows up the same way my dad impressed on me…

In everything that you do, if love isn’t your motivation,
then you’re doing it wrong.

Did you know that the word “love” appears in 184 verses, a total of 213 times in all, in the New Testament alone? I’m sure we all can agree that it isn’t an accident, and it definitely isn’t an accident that Jesus Christ himself implored us to be loving toward each other {your enemies, your neighbors, yourself, the Lord your God… that’s pretty much everyone, don’t you think!?}.

My mom and I were talking a couple days ago about how it’s sometimes hard to understand and be patient with people when you’re taking the gospel to them. It’s hard, isn’t it? Especially now when a lot of people just don’t care, don’t want to care, etc. It’s hard to be loving when doors are constantly being shut in your face. It’s hard to be patient with people who just don’t want to see it or hear about it. Isn’t it so hard to “love your neighbor as yourself” when you feel like they just don’t care?

I have seen people out there who have said some really ugly things about others in public places, like on Facebook, and while they probably won’t be seen by the subject of the ugly statements, everyone else on the friends’ list can… and sometimes it isn’t surprising why there are so many people who want nothing to do with Christianity, because Christians can’t seem to emulate the love that Christ tried so hard to instill in us.

My husband told me recently about Christian - a preacher - who had a status up on Facebook, making a joke about wishing he could kill some Muslims. Shocking, right? But probably not as uncommon as you think. A lot of Christians feel like they don’t have to be loving when it comes to things like Politics. Nobody really bats an eye when a Christian posts slanderous, ugly things about the candidate that they don’t like, do they? All I see is a bunch of ‘likes’. But Jesus told us to love our enemies {Matthew 5:44}, not to post hateful, ugly things about them {some which aren’t even true in the least}.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
{1Cor 13:4-7}

Take a look at that, and then take a look at your Facebook feed after some sort of political rally has happened and see how much actually falls into those categories, and which ones fall under the opposite.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t have your viewpoints or even share them, but when it comes down to it, nobody is exempt from acting in a loving manner, even when it’s election year. Or when you’re trying to get through to someone about the gospel. Or when that three year old is blasting the car horn in the middle of the night {sorry, neighbors!}. Or when you see someone else’s kid screaming in Wal-Mart. Or when someone cuts you off while driving, or doesn’t use their blinker {ow, my toes}. Or when someone says something that offends you. Or when it’s time to correct a brother or sister in Christ.

Kristen is patient and kind; Kristen does not envy or boast; she is not arrogant or rude. She does not insist on her own way; she is not irritable or resentful; she does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Kristen bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Think about it…

I am Blessed.

{found on pinterest}

When you have a million hormones warring against each other and your sanity, it’s easy to let the negative ones get the better of you from time to time. It’s one of the downsides of pregnancy, at least in my experience {which would be nearly 1 year total so far}. There have been times when I have found myself thinking “Who in the world AM I?” because I don’t recognize myself amidst the floods of tears {that honestly happen way more than I am comfortable admitting}, the flurries of anger, and those moments when patience just SNAPS.

I know it’s normal. I still don’t like it. I don’t like feeling pretty happy one moment, to waaaay down in the dumps the next, to HULK!SMASH the very next. Who would? It’s exhausting!

There is one thing that does help me, and that is to sit down and realized how blessed I am. Blessed. Me. The crazy, moody, if-looks-could-kill-you’d-be-dead pregnant chick. I really am blessed, beyond measure. I know I could never count them, but I’m going to at least list a few that I’ve been thinking about lately.

.I am blessed with new life growing inside me, being formed, “fearfully and wonderfully made” {Psa 139:14}, and no matter how many bad days I have, I know that the end result is worth more than that one-hundred times over.

.I am blessed with a sweet, sweet three-year-old, who prays for me every night to feel better, who gives me kisses all the time and asks me if I still feel sick. He is so filled with compassion and has such a gentle, kind spirit. I am so blessed to have my sweet Benjamin!

.I am blessed with a caring, loving husband who has gone above and beyond, even on top of everything else he has to do, to take care of me and the baby and Benjamin. I know that if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be able to get through this. He is always asking me if he can help or get me something, or if I just need someone to bawl all over, he is there, no matter how silly the reason.

.I am blessed with a mother and a mother-in-law who have both sacrificed of their own time and money {yeah, it isn’t cheap coming from Georgia to Alabama!} to come and help out around the house while I have been so sick. I shudder to think of what my house would look like if neither of them had taken the time to come down… seriously… it would not be pretty, and I am forever grateful that they did!

.I am blessed with wonderful, caring friends who don’t mind my hormonal texts looking for a little reassurance, or chat with me on facebook to help keep my mind off of feeling sick! It really does make the time go by so much easier!

.Okay, a material blessing, but I really am thankful for my Kindle. I’ve been able to do a lot more studying with it, thanks to a larger font size that doesn’t make me {too} dizzy. I’ve been able to knock out a bit of my to-read list. It’s kept me occupied and I’ve really been enjoying it.

…. I know that all these blessings come from Christ – the Ultimate Blessing, if you ask me – and I am so thankful to God that I can sit down and name a few off the top of my head like this. He really has been mindful of me, and I know that He is taking care of me.

Feeling pretty blessed this evening… not to mention pretty tired, but you know, even that is a blessing… maybe I’ll actually sleep good tonight! Ha!

Peacemakers.

There is a quote that I'm sure a lot of you have heard before "Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth." - It's humorous, but at the same time, I feel like I have really been needing that lately. There are certain times in your life where you just feel it coming from all sides and it's hard to bare. When people you love are hurtful even when they don't mean to be, and what you really want to do is tell them what's what. It's nice to look back and see that maybe a year ago you would have said something without a thought but now you know better. I've been studying the Fruit of the Spirit lately because I'm going to be teaching that to my class starting in March and I don't think that my studies could have come at a better time. Seriously.

Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self-Control.

If I want to live a life that's pleasing to God, that means I have to make sure I'm bearing the Fruit of the Spirit even in times when you really feel things like patience or peace being tested. I've got to keep my mouth shut before I make a bigger mess of things. Growth, y'all. I've never been very patient, but I've got to practice. And when these situations arise, it sure is a blessing to know I can always pray about it, hand it over to God, and ultimately calm myself down. I know how I need to act, I just need to do it.

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God" Matthew 5:9


I'm reminded of what my Mimi always told us, "Be a peacemaker." (and consequently what my cousin once said in response, "I don't wanna be a peacemaker!!")

Be a peacemaker.

Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self-Control.


I can do this.

I am far from perfect. Believe me. It has taken a long time to get to where I am, and even where I am, I know it's not the end.

But, I can do this.

I can do all things...

some struggles lately

I am pretty sure most of you would probably agree with this: before you're married and you're single, people will always ask you when you're going to have a 'boyfriend', and then when you're a little older, the question is 'when are you going to get married?'. When that day finally comes, the immediate question from there on out is 'when are you going to have a baby?' until you finally have a baby, and then the question is 'when are you going to have another'... and I'm sure once you've had 'enough', the question will probably be 'when are you going to stop' (or something else along the lines of 'you know what causes that, don't you?')

Right now, we're at the stage where people ask us quite frequently when we're going to have another baby. I never realized the weight that this question (and probably the one that precedes it) can put on someone until I had to start answering people, "Well, hopefully sometime soon", and then secretly feel in the back of my mind a little sad because ... well, it's not happening right this instant, and the fact is I wish it were.


I mentioned "jokingly" a few posts back that we hoped this year we'd have a 'bun in the oven' at some point. It's true, though. No joke. In fact, we entered the "trying to conceive" (TTC from here on out) group back in November and have thus far had no luck in that area. And I semi-joked about it back in that post but it truly is no joke for me. I never realized how frustrating it can be to be TTC, because with Benjamin we really weren't actively trying.

Now that we are TTC, it's just unbelievably frustrating and I know that it's only been a few months so far but it's just been discouraging so far. I know that there's always 'next month' to try again, but the thing is... all I have wanted for like the past two years is to add another baby into the mix and we just haven't been able, between instability in job/money/housing, or insurance... and now that we are able to, and aren't...

Do you get what I'm saying? I'm being honest here and to be frank, I don't like feeling this vulnerable, sharing what I've been struggling with lately. I'm not stressed about it - it's just that when it turns out that once again we're not, I just feel so sad, so discouraged, and lost - like why not? Why not this month? I know I'm not the only one.

What makes it infinitely harder is when everyone around you is announcing their pregnancies, or have been pregnant for a while, and you're so happy for them but at the same time you can't help but feel a little jealousy. Ugh, I hate feeling that way. And then you feel guilty for feeling that way because you know that you shouldn't.

I'm getting better in that regard. I am genuinely happy for all my friends who are pregnant and I can't wait to see the precious babies that they bring into this world.

At the same time, I wish I could join the number, but I keep telling myself that it's all in God's good time. If He chooses to bless us, He will do it in perfect timing - because my timing is not His timing. And maybe the difference between Benjamin and this time when we are TTC is that last time we just put it completely in God's hands. And now I'm too focused on the 'science' of it all.

Anyway, I just say all of this to ask you for your prayers. Please pray that God does bless us and until that time, that I can be patient and wait on Him and do what I'm supposed to do, and to not be discouraged.

Have any of you experienced this? I know some of you have. What helped you get through?

Parenting Is Not A Competition

So you're in the hospital, you've just given birth and you're spending a few peaceful moments while your husband has your new shiny baby, and you're surfing the internet. You're giving an update {let's just say on Facebook} as to how things went and are going, how big the baby was, how long you were in labor, etc. It's all seemingly innocent. It's to fill in family and friends who honestly want to know and are waiting with bated breath to know how everything went and how momma and baby are doing.

Whether you know it or not, you have just entered into one of the longest competitions of your life. That competition being: Parenting.

Okay, not really. At least it shouldn't be. But have you noticed that sometimes it feels just that way? For some reason in their free time, mothers compare their children, and sometimes this is not good. We start talking about our babies' accomplishments and milestones and soon we're saying things like "Well, Benjamin was able to do that months ago..." or "Well, my daughter has been saying a lot more words for a few months..." or "Well, he's been potty trained since he was three weeks old!"

Ahem.

I am just going to take this moment to announce to all of you mothers or mothers-to-be this simple and yet very meaningful statement:

Parenting Is NOT A Competition.

I know, I know. Some of you must be thinking, "Well, duh..." But give that a serious thought. How many times have you felt discouraged because someone has said, "Well, my child has done that since..." after you've told them something your child has learned to do that's gotten you really excited? On the other hand, how many times have you proudly bragged that your child has been doing something before your friends' baby or perhaps even a family member's?

I used to feel so down when I heard that my friends' children who were Ben's age were doing things that he wasn't anywhere close to doing. It's probably one of the worst feelings in the world - feeling like your child is somehow behind in development.

A mother should never, ever feel this way about her child. It breaks my heart to think that any other mother could feel the way I once felt. It's one of the reasons I try so hard to be careful about what I say around or to other mothers. Not that my child is some sort of super genius, but you know parents are proud of their children's accomplishments.

There is absolutely no justification for a mother who goes out of her way to make another mother feel inferior. This may seem a little harsh, but I'm just going to come out and say it: shame on you. It really burns me to see friends of mine who feel that way.

We should all rejoice with each other's children's accomplishments because it's exciting for the child and for the parents! We should never feel the need to make our friends or family members feel like it's not that big of a deal, even if your child has been doing whatever it is for a much longer time, or even a few days.

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

"...charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,..."

Charity {love} does not boast and brag and puff itself up.

Maybe we should keep that in mind before we feel like bragging to our friends and family and making them feel bad.

Let's grow up and act like adults so we can enjoy our children as they grow up, and rejoice with our friends and family members as their children grow up as well.

Because parenting is not a competition, and it should never feel like one.

laying up for myself

This evening, there are a few things on my mind. I've had a pretty relaxing day, a productive day, a blessed day. I've spent time with my mom and my son and my dad. And "my" dog. And my camera. And my Lord. And it's been a good day.

But, I miss my husband. Do you get that from my recent posts? I really do miss him. Tonight is Lost night, and usually we watch it together with our friends, but tonight... tonight is the first night in a long while that we haven't watched a new episode together. This may seem silly to some of you, but we enjoy spending this time together. Or, at least I do. {ha ha}

And I think about Hubby all day long because I spend all day with Benjamin, who is exactly like Hubby in so many ways. His curiosity, his wildness, his spontaneity, his blue eyes.



Sigh.

Yeah, I miss him. Kinda a lot.

Anyway, I'll stop boo-hooing and show you a few of my favorite things:



Oh, if I had all the money in the world. I'd have all the bright and colorful things my heart desired! And then some.

You may not know it, but I am rich. I may not be so rich to buy all the little extras, but I'm pretty rich.

"But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:" Matthew 6:20

That pretty much sums up my thoughts this evening.

Thank God for godly parents!

Something that has been on my mind today and something I am ever thankful for is having godly parents to have raised me. I was blessed to be able to talk to both of them today, gathering wisdom and advice, and also just having a chat. It was nice. I miss them.

I am so thankful to God that I have parents who brought my brother and me up in a house filled with God's word. It is a priceless gift that God has given me and so often I have taken it for granted. Now that I am older {at 21... that's still older!}, and now that I have a family of my own and a son of my own, I can appreciate my parents more - and do! I can look back and understand why they did things the way they did.

My parents are amazing. I wish you all could know them. They are always there to help guide me, even when they are two and a half hours away. They are always willing to talk and to give advice and to just be a friend. I found myself wishing desperately that I could talk to my dad at two o' clock this morning, and he called, and I am so thankful that we had the conversation that we did! And my mom is so thoughtful - today we got a lovely box full of Valentine's goodies for all three of us.

My parents are two of the best friends that I have, and I love them infinitely! I thank God daily for them!

I am just so blessed, sometimes I can scarcely believe how good God is to me!

Mom and Dad, if you happen to be reading, I love you both! You're fantastic! Thank you - for everything!

Perfection.

I wouldn't say that I am a perfectionist in many ways. I've already shared my thoughts on why my house is not clean, and many other things just aren't at the top of my priority for being perfect. There are a few things that I will put extra effort into because I feel like it should be perfect, and more often than not it's just me having standards much too high to be realistic. In fact, so many times it seems that whatever it is I am stressing over perfection about, it happens to be something that I have no control over, or perhaps only partial control. Relationships - I want them all to be perfect, but nobody is perfect.

Well, except God. God is perfect. The Divine Trinity. Father, Son, Holy Ghost. All perfect. And everything they do is perfect. I am so very thankful to have that knowledge. To know that whatever God does, it is always perfect. He has perfect wisdom and perfect power. Everything He has done, and everything He will ever do.

God's Word? Perfect.

His scheme of redemption? Perfect.

His requirements for repentance? Perfect.

And while we sometimes try to 'fix' these to our own liking, try to force other requirements into the equation or take some away, God's standards do not change. I take a lot of comfort in the fact that God does not change. There's no reason for Him to change: He is perfect, and all He has done... well, you get the picture.

I am so thankful that we don't have to submit to man's requirements in order to gain Salvation. I am so thankful that we don't have to submit to man's requirements in order to gain forgiveness.

But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed. As we said before, so say I now again, If any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed.
(Galatians 1:8-9)

God's way is the perfect way, God's standards perfect, God's judgement perfect. While I am not perfect, I take great comfort in knowing that God is. While those surrounding us are not perfect

God IS.

And I am thankful.

TTYVDKFQTJTV

A New Year, a New Leaf.

Can you believe it is 2010 already? More importantly, can you believe that all three of us, and that includes Mr. Benjamin, were able to stay up to turn a new page together, enter into a brand new year? I was a little shocked, but so glad to have rung in the new year with my husband and our baby boy.

And now? For my first blog entry of 2010, it would only seem right to talk about how much happened in the last year, or perhaps all I want to accomplish in the upcoming one. I can't really bring myself to do either, though, as I am watching my son with his foot in a candycane box.

This year is going to be great. It's going to be full of blessings. I suppose if I had any goals for this coming year, it'd be to pray more, to study the Bible more, to be a better wife and mother, to grow. Normally I don't make any resolutions because I feel like I can never keep up and keep to them. But these, I can. Because they are important to me, to my family.

I hope you all find many blessings in 2010!