Parenting Is Not A Competition

So you're in the hospital, you've just given birth and you're spending a few peaceful moments while your husband has your new shiny baby, and you're surfing the internet. You're giving an update {let's just say on Facebook} as to how things went and are going, how big the baby was, how long you were in labor, etc. It's all seemingly innocent. It's to fill in family and friends who honestly want to know and are waiting with bated breath to know how everything went and how momma and baby are doing.

Whether you know it or not, you have just entered into one of the longest competitions of your life. That competition being: Parenting.

Okay, not really. At least it shouldn't be. But have you noticed that sometimes it feels just that way? For some reason in their free time, mothers compare their children, and sometimes this is not good. We start talking about our babies' accomplishments and milestones and soon we're saying things like "Well, Benjamin was able to do that months ago..." or "Well, my daughter has been saying a lot more words for a few months..." or "Well, he's been potty trained since he was three weeks old!"

Ahem.

I am just going to take this moment to announce to all of you mothers or mothers-to-be this simple and yet very meaningful statement:

Parenting Is NOT A Competition.

I know, I know. Some of you must be thinking, "Well, duh..." But give that a serious thought. How many times have you felt discouraged because someone has said, "Well, my child has done that since..." after you've told them something your child has learned to do that's gotten you really excited? On the other hand, how many times have you proudly bragged that your child has been doing something before your friends' baby or perhaps even a family member's?

I used to feel so down when I heard that my friends' children who were Ben's age were doing things that he wasn't anywhere close to doing. It's probably one of the worst feelings in the world - feeling like your child is somehow behind in development.

A mother should never, ever feel this way about her child. It breaks my heart to think that any other mother could feel the way I once felt. It's one of the reasons I try so hard to be careful about what I say around or to other mothers. Not that my child is some sort of super genius, but you know parents are proud of their children's accomplishments.

There is absolutely no justification for a mother who goes out of her way to make another mother feel inferior. This may seem a little harsh, but I'm just going to come out and say it: shame on you. It really burns me to see friends of mine who feel that way.

We should all rejoice with each other's children's accomplishments because it's exciting for the child and for the parents! We should never feel the need to make our friends or family members feel like it's not that big of a deal, even if your child has been doing whatever it is for a much longer time, or even a few days.

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

"...charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,..."

Charity {love} does not boast and brag and puff itself up.

Maybe we should keep that in mind before we feel like bragging to our friends and family and making them feel bad.

Let's grow up and act like adults so we can enjoy our children as they grow up, and rejoice with our friends and family members as their children grow up as well.

Because parenting is not a competition, and it should never feel like one.