Realizations

You know?



I have come to quite a few realizations recently. And sometimes for me, stubborn as I am, it is a hard thing for me to admit. Not that I've made a realization, but that my realization is sad (in some cases) but true. And, you know? I like to come over here and share my thoughts often. So I'm going to share a few of my realizations with you.

Realization number One: I do not weigh 109 pounds. I did once, but then came Benjamin and I do not weigh that much anymore. I do lay claim to 109 pounds, but that's not all. I've recently come to the realization that I have transcended my pre-baby weight and what's left here is a young lady who went through 9 months and five days carrying around the greatest responsibility God has bestowed upon me and my husband. I have more stretch marks than I would ever care to attempt to count, and even if I did, I'd probably be too embarrassed to tell you all. I'm not exaggerating, trust me. I have recently come to the realization that just because I can pull on a skirt or a pair of pants (while sucking in as much as I can and not breathing for at least thirty seconds) does not mean that it fits. I mean, even if I can "fit" in it, why do I want everyone to know that all my weight settled there of all places (and you all know which there I'm talking about!). Having a baby is life-changing, relationship-changing, financially-changing, perspective-changing, and body-image-changing, and it's only taken me 11 days shy of a year for this realization.

I'm getting off to a good start, aren't I?



Realization number Two: Being the mother of a toddler means my house is not clean. Since I got married, I have been self-conscious about the way I keep my house. I started off wanting to have it always clean "just like my mom". Little did I know then that it takes time to get to a point where everything has a place and every place has a thing. And then we moved. And we had a baby. And I want my house to be spic-and-span, and yet in any given room, there are things with no places. If I spent every waking moment of every day (and obviously this is not what I am doing) cleaning, I could probably have a very clean house to be quite proud of. But what I'd be missing out on instead is the little things like how Benjamin stands at the baby gate while he watches his Blues Clues, or how he said 'Nana' for the first time today, or how he's gotten better and better at walking. I've come to the realization that if I want to keep my house clean, I have to walk around behind my toddler and pick up everything he puts down immediately, because once that's done he is on to the next thing. I realize my house is not perfect. I realize there are dishes in the sink and toys everywhere. I realize my dirty clothes pile seems to get too big too quick. But while I realize that, I also realize that in 11 days, my baby boy is going to be one year old. I don't want to miss any firsts because I'm too worried about what my house looks like.



Realization number Three: I make mistakes, and so do others. One of the hardest things to realize is when we realize we aren't perfect, and what's even harder is when others realize this as well. Along the same lines, it's hard to deal with the realization that people you love and care about make mistakes as well. I realize that nobody save Jesus Christ is perfect. I realize that friends and family sometimes have disagreements. But that doesn't mean we can't deal with these disagreements in Christian manners. And sometimes we forget our manners and when someone else points this out to us, we have to realize that they are right. And I've come to the realization that when this happens, instead of making excuses or being nasty, the very best thing to do is apologize and do what you can to make things right. Last year I had a friend who had a disagreement with me and that ended up as being the end of our friendship. I've come to the realization that this really never had to happen. You know, Benjamin is so good at communicating, although we don't always understand what he needs when he's trying to tell us. But sometimes adults are worse than that in that they don't even communicate to each other before jumping to the conclusion, and sometimes we don't even make any sort of attempt. I've come to the realization that in most cases, disagreements are inevitable, but that doesn't mean they have to be detrimental. If we just make the efforts to come to reach a good conclusion, one that is helpful for all, we could all end up happy and not have to cut someone out of our life. I for one need to work on my communication skills - I have a problem sometimes with my temper and with jumping the gun, and I do realize this. So, friends, be patient if you notice this flaw about me!

And, friend from last year, if you are reading, please know that I love you and think about you often!



So concludes my realizations for today. Tomorrow? A dear friend's wedding in Atlanta. I hope you all have a blessed weekend, and stay warm!